Web of Delusions
by Shadows in the Light of Day
Summary: For now, the Baltics, Belarus, and Ukraine seem to finally be safe. However, when Lithuania's pity for Russia overcomes his common sense, he ends up even further entangled in the web of insanity that they are all trapped in. As Estonia and Belarus try to find a way to break free, Lithuania makes a last attempt to save Russia from himself. Final story in "Soviet Insanity".
1. Introduction

**Hello! *waves* Well, here I am, with a new story! Actually, it's the sequel to "Insanity". The summary told you that. I should be quiet now. **

**Anyways, this might well be the first story in this series that you actually need to have read at least the story right before it to understand it. For those who haven't read "Insanity"-this will make a lot more sense if you read that first. Actually... This will all make more sense if you start with "Interference", and read through the entire series. **

**Oh! Some of you probably know this already, but this series has a name now! It's called "Soviet Insanity". Credit goes to Krasavitsa for coming up with that! :)**

**I believe that's all the news for today. Other than the fact that I will not be updating this quite as quickly as I usually do. I have several nearly finished projects that are still in the works, and I'm planning to write a much longer fanfiction set in the Hetalia universe pretty soon, so I'm busily planning that. Therefore, updates may be a bit sporadic, but they will come. :) **

* * *

Prologue:

It was hard trying to ignore the obvious. Or, at least, Lithuania thought it was. The others didn't seem to have a problem with it, but he did. Of the entire group, he seemed to be the only one who even noticed the obvious lack of a threatening presence in the room, and was actually worrying about said threatening presence, also known as Russia. And while he was worrying, the others seemed to be trying to live a normal life.

The others in question were, of course, Estonia, Latvia, Belarus, and Ukraine, who had banded together along with Lithuania to stop the senseless punishments that had been going on for far too long in Russia's household.

This sort of half-freedom had been interesting for the first few hours or so. They had all drifted around, seeming almost afraid to do anything, whether normal or abnormal. It was Latvia who finally broke the spell by announcing that it was snowing outside.

"It's always snowing outside," Estonia said, "We're in Russia."

"But this time we can go out and play!" Latvia said, sounding so enthusiastic that even Belarus looked interested. Estonia, however, did not.

"I don't want to play," Estonia said, "I want to stay in this warm house and not freeze to death."

"Yes, because it is _so_ warm in here," Belarus said, "This house is barely ever heated correctly, you idiot. And it's far from warm right now."

Ordinarily, Lithuania would have stepped in then and asked Latvia to leave Estonia alone. He still wasn't completely certain that the middle Baltic was fully recovered from his very recent spell of insanity. The bandages on Estonia's arm were a constant reminder so soon after the fact, and the way Latvia moved, stiffly and uncertainly, only added to the reminder of what had happened.

But Latvia had already tugged the protesting Estonia out into the hallway, where Ukraine was distributing hats, coats, and scarves.

"We have enough scarves here to kill someone," Estonia noted, as he opened a closet door and had a large bundle fall on him.

"Ukraine makes them," Belarus informed him.

"Really?" Estonia asked, turning to the blonde girl, "I didn't know that."

Ukraine nodded.

"There's not much to do here, so I've been making them in my spare time."

Estonia smiled very slightly.

"That could come in handy, if we decide to… If we decide to leave."

There was a long silence. Both Latvia and Ukraine looked nervous, while Belarus looked as if she wanted to leave at this very moment.

"I didn't say we were leaving now," Estonia said, "Besides… Where could we get to from here?"

"We could take a plane!" Latvia piped.

"We need to plan," Belarus observed, "But that can wait until after we play in the snow."

"_You're_ going to play in the snow?" Estonia asked, seeming rather shocked.

"Well, I'm not staying here by myself," Belarus snapped.

"I could have stayed here if you had wanted me to," Lithuania mumbled.

"You're coming with me," Belarus said, pulling him over, "We are going to build a snowman."

"Who died and made you queen?" Estonia muttered.

"I made myself the queen," Belarus announced.

"She's not the queen!" Latvia squeaked, "She's the ice princess!"

"The ice princess?" Estonia echoed.

"Yeah, because she's so cold and scary all the time!" Latvia said, and then, apparently realizing that Belarus was glaring at him, he darted behind Estonia.

"Well, come on," Ukraine said, bustling past the two younger Baltics in a business-like manner, "Lithuania has to put his coat on, and then he'll come out with us. So, come on, you two."

Estonia, Ukraine, and Latvia trooped outside, leaving a rather confused Lithuania holding the coat that Ukraine had bestowed upon him.

"Am I really that threatening?" Belarus said quietly.

"I don't think so," Lithuania said, "But that was Latvia talking, and he's afraid of _Estonia _half the time."

"Estonia has been quite threatening of late," Belarus said in a matter of fact tone.

Lithuania sighed.

"Do you think he'll be all right?"

"Why are you asking me?" Belarus wondered, "If he snaps again, you or Latvia will be the first to know."

The girl paused, staring at Lithuania intently.

"Or are you going to do something stupid again?"

"What?" Lithuania asked, laughing slightly, "I don't know what you're talking about, Belarus. I'm done with doing stupid things. There's no reason to do anything now!"

_"Yes, Belarus. I am going to do something stupid again. I can't just leave Russia all alone."_

* * *

They were playing in the snow… Or, at least, they were trying to. Latvia was trying to build a snowman, but he was too small to roll the snowballs big enough. Estonia and Ukraine were supposed to be helping him, but they had eventually wandered off, leaving the tiny nation alone to build his snowman.

Belarus had somehow managed to climb a tree, and she was sitting on a branch just above Lithuania's head.

"I suppose we should probably go help him," Belarus observed, glancing at Latvia, "If we don't, he might cry."

The girl slid down from the tree, then turned to Lithuania.

"Coming?"

"You go ahead," Lithuania said, "I'll be there in a minute."

Belarus nodded, and then went over to join Latvia, who looked very happy to have some company. Looking beyond them, Lithuania could see Estonia and Ukraine standing at the edge of the frozen pond.

"I hope you all have fun," he whispered, "Don't worry about me if I don't come back. Worrying is my job."

Quickly, Lithuania left the frozen outdoors behind him, and hurried back into Russia's mansion. With his back to his friends, he had no way of knowing that someone was watching him.

Estonia's blue eyes narrowed as he watched Lithuania leave.

_"Where could he be going?" _the blonde nation thought, trying to ignore the feeling deep inside him, the feeling that told him he already knew.

_"No, it's just another one of those annoying voices… There's no way Lithuania could possibly be stupid enough to do something like that… I hope."_

* * *

**Well, if you made it all the way through this rather useless prologue, I congratulate you! I know that pretty much nothing happened here, but don't worry! It should get more exciting now. For now, keep the mental image of Latvia building a snowman. I really like that idea, for some reason.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Hey, guys! I'm back again! And, thank you all for the lovely reviews! Seven on the first chapter... *is in shock***

**As I said, updates are going to be a little bit farther apart than usual, but they will come, never fear! **

**Also, I've started another story, which I'll be working on as well as this one. It's called "Written in Blood", and, personally, I like the idea a bit better than I like this series just at present. So...um... Yeah. It feels weird advertising my own story. Anyways, it's a crossover with "The Hunger Games", and it's a little hard to explain, so... Yeah.**

**Back on the topic of this story. I'm not really very happy with the title, but I cannot for the life of me think of a better one (and my possible titles file is failing me in my time of need). If you have any suggestions, please tell me! :)**

**Guest (first that reviewed): I'm glad you like the story so far! :) **

**Guest (the long reviewing one): Thanks for your review! It's totally okay that you reviewed a little late. :) It was a nice surprise to get another review! **

**Yup, you were right! Lithuania really can't stop himself from helping others...**

**Heehee, I'm glad you liked it! (I sort of ship EstKraine myself at the moment, so there may end up being some of that along with the LietBel...)**

**Latvia needs to build snowmen forever and be happy! :)**

* * *

Chapter One:

Every sensible part of Lithuania's mind was currently informing him that he was an idiot. Anyone with sense could have seen that his plan would probably never work, that he barely had a chance. Even he knew how ridiculous it was to even hope that something like this would work…

_"And yet I am going through with it," _Lithuania thought, _"I have to."_

He was just outside Russia's bedroom door, and he felt himself questioning his actions. What if this didn't work? What if, because he had made this decision, everything got worse?

It didn't matter. Russia was all alone, and that was the thing the large nation feared the most. So Lithuania would try once again to be his friend, although he knew from experience that it would probably not end well.

_"If ends with torture, so be it. I can bear it. I have before. No matter what happens, I will be strong. And I will try not to hate Russia. I will try…to be his friend."_

Standing outside Russia's room, he realized that none of the others would understand what he was about to do. No doubt they would worry.

_"But this is my choice. I have a right to choose what I do with my life. And this is what I choose."_

Acting before he lost his nerve, Lithuania knocked on the door.

There was no answer. The brunet nation knocked again, feeling his resolve starting to waver.

"Mr. R-Russia? It's me… Lithuania. Can I talk to you?"

Suddenly, the door opened, and a hand shot out, yanking Lithuania inside. The Baltic nation ended up on the floor, gasping as his legs made impact with the hard wood.

"What are you doing here?" Russia asked, staring down at him in evident confusion.

"I… I wanted to talk to you," Lithuania said.

"Why didn't you all leave?" Russia asked, "I thought you would…you would all be leaving…now…"

"We can't think of anywhere to go yet," Lithuania said, "The other are outside, playing in the snow."

"But you have been coming in here…" Russia said, puzzled, "For what purpose?"

"I don't want you to be alone," Lithuania said, "You don't like being alone, do you?"

For a long moment, Russia stared at him.

"I am not understanding," he said, "You were wanting me to let you all leave… And yet you have been coming here."

"I've been alone, too," Lithuania said, "Those nights in the basement, alone… Those were some of the most terrifying experiences I've ever had. And you… You're always alone, Mr. Russia. I…I feel sorry for you."

Russia was staring at him again, his violet eyes wide and confused.

"Being alone hurts," Lithuania continued, "I know…perhaps better than anyone… I know that being hurt only makes you more likely to hurt other people. So, Mr. Russia, if you'll let me… I would like to be your friend. A long time ago, you said we could be friends someday. Hasn't someday… Hasn't someday come yet?"

Russia was silent for a very long time. Then, the large nation walked over and sat down on the edge of his bed. Lithuania watched, slightly unnerved and more than a bit confused by the Russian's behavior.

"Come sit, _Litva_," Russia said, patting the spot next to him, "I cannot be talking to you if you are all the way down there."

Cautiously, Lithuania got up and went to sit next to Russia, although he refrained from sitting too close.

"Why have you been changing your mind?" Russia asked.

"W-what do you mean?" Lithuania asked.

"Some time ago, you were begging me to stop these things and let you leave," Russia said, "Now you come here to stay with me."

"I n-never said I wanted to leave," Lithuania said, "You see, Russia… I really do think we could be friends. But friends don't hurt each other. It's hard to be your friend when you hurt me, so I wanted it to stop. But I don't… I don't want to leave you all alone. I don't want you to be alone, if being alone makes you sad."

"Then…you won't leave me?" Russia asked.

"No," Lithuania said, "Not unless you want me to."

"I am not sure I can be believing you," Russia said, "You left me before."

"Then I'll stay until you believe it," Lithuania said, "Please, believe me, Russia. Would I lie to you?"

"I am not knowing that," Russia said, "But I do know that you would defy me."

"To try and save someone," Lithuania said, "Yes."

"Why?" Russia asked, "Estonia… Estonia tried to kill you, and me as well. Why would you still help him?"

"I can't stop myself," Lithuania said, "I can't stop myself from trying to help people."

He gazed out the window, down into the snowy yard, where Estonia, Belarus, Latvia, and Ukraine were still building their snowman.

"I could be down there now," he said, "Instead of up here in the dark. But I hate being alone. I thought maybe you could use some company, and once I thought of it, I couldn't stay away."

He paused, trying to form his thoughts into words.

"Go on," Russia said quietly.

"I saw how sad you looked," Lithuania said softly, "When we all… When we all decided we'd had enough. You looked angry… But you were sad too, and hurt that we would do that to you. In your mind… You probably think we betrayed you, right?"

"Da," Russia said, "It felt like betraying, and hurting, and… Why, _Litva_? Why do they all hate me?"

"I don't think they hate you," Lithuania said, "I just think… They don't understand why you act this way. To them, it's easy to act like normal people should, because they've seen normalcy. But… Russia… You really were hurt, once. I don't know how, or why, or what happened, but after seeing what happened to Estonia… I know that someone hurt you. And I've been hurt so much that I can't bear to see anyone else in pain."

"So… You don't hate me?" Russia asked, "But you still are not understanding…?"

"I know you're trying to help," Lithuania said, "You're just… Mr. Russia, you never really got to be a child, did you? Did you ever get to play in the snow?"

Russia shivered.

"I… I am not much liking the snow," he said slowly, sounding rather disturbed at the thought of playing in such a substance.

"Then, wouldn't you like to play in a field full of sunflowers?" Lithuania asked.

To his relief, Russia's face brightened.

"Da!" Russia declared emphatically, "I would like that very much!"

"See?" Lithuania said, "That's a good, normal emotion."

_"A normal emotion for a child, but… It is a start, I suppose."_

"_Litva_?" Russia asked, sounding puzzled, "Do you mean to be saying that I do not have the normalness?"

Lithuania laughed.

"I never said that…"

"I am thinking you thought it," Russia said, "But that will be all right for now. Do you like sunflowers? I think I may have been asking you before, but I don't really remember…"

* * *

Estonia was starting to get worried. The others had finally noticed that Lithuania was gone, and they were trying to decide what to do.

"Why are we panicking?" Ukraine said at last, "He probably went back to the house to get warm."

"Without telling us?" Belarus asked, "He's not like that, Ukraine. If he was just going in because he was cold, he would have said something so that we wouldn't worry."

The girl's expression was grim.

"He's gone to do something stupid," she said, "I can feel it."

"There's only one thing he could be doing in that house," Estonia said, "We all know that."

"Where did Lithuania go?" Latvia asked. The adult conversation appeared to literally be going over the small nation's head, to Estonia's relief.

"Probably nowhere," Estonia said, glancing at Ukraine and Belarus and hoping they wouldn't argue, "I'll go see what he's up to."

"No, I will," Belarus said, "It's too cold out here, anyways."

Estonia had no chance to protest, as the girl had already turned away.

"You think he's gone to try and reason with Russia?" Ukraine whispered to Estonia.

"I don't know," Estonia replied. His head was starting to hurt again, and that worried him.

_"You'd better not have done something stupid, Lithuania. Do you think my mind can handle that kind of stress? I don't think so."_

"Estonia," Latvia said from behind them, "This is another one of those kinds of things where if there's something wrong, you won't tell me, right? And then someone else will tell me, and then bad things will happen."

"What happened earlier was onetime deal, Latvia," Estonia said, "Never again will you see me lose my cool like that."

"What have you done?" Ukraine asked.

"Estonia tried to cut his arm off!" Latvia chirped.

"I was not…" Estonia protested. Then, he sighed.

"I was not trying to cut my arm off," he repeated, adjusting his glasses, "I was merely experimenting."

Ukraine looked surprisingly sympathetic.

"You don't have to say that," she said, "I live with Russia too, remember? I know you weren't okay then."

"Well, I'm fine now," Estonia retorted, "So, you don't need to worry."

"Hey, you two," Latvia said, "Belarus is coming back, and she doesn't look very happy…"

Belarus was indeed coming back, and she looked as if she were about to strangle someone.

"Estonia!" the girl called as she approached, "I want to talk to you, and only you!"

"Belarus, are you…?" Ukraine started. However, Belarus fixed her with a glare that frightened even Estonia, and she instantly shut up.

Hoping that he didn't look as frightened as he felt, Estonia left Latvia and Ukraine and joined Belarus a short ways off.

"Lithuania is nowhere in the house," Belarus said, "I looked everywhere, and he's gone."

"There's one place no one would look," Estonia said, "Even you."

"If he's gone there," Belarus said, "Then he's a greater fool than I thought."

"He might just be hiding out somewhere," Estonia said, "If he doesn't show back up by tonight… Then we can start to worry."

"And if he doesn't?" Belarus asked, "If he's really gone back to Russia?"

"If he's gone to Russia…" Estonia said, "Then we have to hope he'll make it back in one piece."

"No," Belarus said, "We will not leave him with my brother. If Lithuania does not return, I _will_ confront Russia."

"You can do that, then," Estonia said quietly. He looked away, aware that Belarus was staring at him.

_"I can't fight him again. I'm too scared of what will happen to me if I get hurt again. I don't want to get hurt again, and I don't want to hurt anyone else. Damn Lithuania! Why did you have to ruin everything, just when things were starting to take a turn for the better?"_

* * *

Night had fallen on the world, but Lithuania was still where he had been earlier that afternoon. Russia's room.

"M-Mr. Russia?" Lithuania asked, aware that he sounded more nervous than even Latvia usually did, "Would it b-be all right if I w-went to my room now? It's g-getting l-late…"

"You want to leave, _Litva_?" Russia asked. The larger nation sounded rather hurt by Lithuania's question.

"J-just for the night," Lithuania said, "I'll come back in the morning, if you want…"

"But if I let you leave," Russia said, "I am not knowing if you will come back."

"I promise I'll come back," Lithuania said, "I'll come every day, if you want me to."

Russia shook his head.

"I am thinking that it would be less of the walking for you, if you would be staying here," he said.

Lithuania sighed.

_"He picks the worst times to make a rational point…"_

"But the others will worry about me," he said, "It…it might make them sad if I just…disappeared."

"They can be sad," Russia said, "But you are not leaving."

"Russia…" Lithuania said, "Please… I promised I would come back."

"I am not trusting your promises," Russia said, "Earlier this day, you were saying you wanted to stay with me and be my friend. Now you want to leave."

"Friends don't keep each other prisoner," Lithuania said quietly. He instantly regretted it, as Russia's voice started to take on a sinister tone.

"_Litva_!" Russia snapped, "You are staying here! Discussion ended!"

If it hadn't been for the fact that Russia would probably have tied him up to prevent him from hurting himself, Lithuania would have kicked himself for his stupidity.

_"Did I really overestimate him _again_?" _the brunet Baltic thought, _"How do I get in these situations…?"_

After a moment, he thought of one thing that might be able to get him out of Russia's room and safely into his own bed.

"Russia," he said, "Where am I supposed to sleep?"

The larger nation appeared to be deep in thought for several minutes. Then, he smiled.

"My bed is very big, so you can sleep with me!"

_"I should have seen that coming…" _Lithuania reflected, _"How can I convince him that that's not happening…?"_

"But, Mr. Russia, I really don't think…"

"You can call me Ivan, da?" Russia asked, "After all, we are friends, so that is okay, right?"

"I g-guess so, Mr. Russia," Lithuania said automatically.

"Not Mr. Russia," Russia said, coming over to stand in front of the Baltic nation, "Ivan. Can you say that?"

"I-Ivan," Lithuania said, "Your name is Ivan."

Russia smiled.

"Very good! Now, come on, _Litva_. It is time for sleeping."

Lithuania sighed. It was going to be a very long night.

* * *

Russia was feeling extremely confused. One moment, Lithuania wanted to stay with him. The next, the silly, confusing little nation was trying to get away.

And he wasn't going to let him leave. All the others had deserted him. Even his own sisters had left him behind and gone off somewhere. He only had Lithuania, and he wasn't going to lose him.

Russia glanced over at the other nation, who was curled up on the other side of the bed. Lithuania appeared to be asleep, but, every once in a while, he started shivering for a few moments, then calmed down again.

"Are you cold, _Litva_?" Russia whispered. There was no answer from Lithuania.

Quietly, Russia got out of bed and, walking over to the closet, rummaged around until he found a spare blanket. The large nation returned to the bed, but before he got in, he tucked the blanket around Lithuania.

"It is very cold here," he said, "So you need to keep warm while you are sleeping. Don't worry, _Litva_. I will be protecting you."


	3. Chapter 2

**Hullo! I am returned! **

**Quick note: I am going to try and update this at least bi-weekly, since I really need to get this plot established for future chapters of "Written in Blood", which takes place in the same universe, but in the future. **

**Another note: I'm still trying to think of a title for this. I'm currently debating something involving the words "sacrifice", "delusions/illusions", or "web", or all three, but I'm still not sure exactly what...  
**

**So, anyways, hopefully, updates will be more frequent from now on. Unless I get sick...which might be soon... My throat hurts. **

**Guest: Thanks for your review! :D **

* * *

Chapter Two:

Although she would never have admitted it, Belarus was more worried than she had ever been in her life. It was now nearly ten o'clock at night, and still Lithuania had not appeared.

"What should we do?" Estonia asked her. The blonde Baltic appeared to be the only other person there who actually realized how much Lithuania's disappearance affected the situation.

_"Actually,"_ Belarus reflected, _"Ukraine probably does know. She's just not letting on that she does, so Latvia won't be upset."_

"Why are you asking me?" Belarus snapped, "I don't know any more than you do!"

"I'm sorry!" Estonia squeaked, stepping back. It was then that Belarus remembered how fragile the blonde boy was.

"It's fine," she muttered, "Just… Help me think of something to do."

"We can't go looking for Lithuania tonight," Estonia decided.

Belarus turned to look at him, her gaze accusing.

"You would leave him alone with my brother?"

"We don't even know that he and Russia are anywhere near each other," Estonia said, "Look, Belarus… We can't go knocking on Russia's door in the middle of the night. He'd kill us all."

"We wouldn't let him," Belarus said stubbornly.

_"I will _not_ abandon Lithuania. He deserves better than being left alone to serve as Russia's slave, or his plaything, or whatever he is to that monster who used to be my brother."_

* * *

Estonia was frightened. The last thing he wanted to do was run off into the darkness of the house, to Russia's room, to look for Lithuania, who might be completely all right. And yet, he didn't want Belarus angry with him either.

But something inside him, his pent-up anger and frustration… It was taking over again, and it was providing a cover for his fear.

"Belarus!" Estonia snapped, "If you really want to know why I'm not going to look for Lithuania, then I'll tell you! I don't want to go because if we do, then Latvia and Ukraine will get dragged into it too. I don't know about Ukraine, but… Latvia is terrified of blood, and violence scares him. I will _not_ let anything happen to him, even if it means we have to wait to find Lithuania."

_"Really, it's for selfish reasons that I can't go knocking on Russia's door tonight. I am _terrified_ of losing my mind again… I can't let that happen… I'm scared."_

Belarus glared at him, betrayal evident in her eyes.

"Then I'll go alone."

"Miss Belarus?" a small voice asked, "Estonia? Do you think maybe Lithuania doesn't want you to be worried?"

Estonia froze.

_"How long has he been listening…?"_

"What do you mean?" Belarus asked, "Would he really expect us _not_ to worry?"

"Well, I mean, he always wants to help," Latvia said, "Maybe… Maybe he thinks he can help Mr. Russia."

"Lithuania is an idiot," Belarus announced.

"An idiot who can't seem to figure out what's not good for him, even when he's been told a hundred times," Estonia muttered.

"Everyone," Ukraine said, "I think we should wait until morning."

"But something could happen to him before morning!" Belarus snapped, "Do none of you care?"

"T-the safety of the group is…" Ukraine stammered.

"I see," Belarus said, glaring at Ukraine, Estonia, and Latvia, "It's all well and good when we're in trouble anyways, but when only Lithuania is in trouble, then you leave him. Cowards!"

No one argued with that statement. Ordinarily, Estonia would have, but Belarus' words had made him feel guilty.

_"I am a coward. I abandoned him, time and time again. Just like Latvia abandoned me that time. Even though I know how much it hurts, I still keep cowering away and letting Lithuania take the brunt of Russia's anger. I'm sorry, Toris… I'm not brave like you."_

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Russia woke to a knock on the door. The large nation had always been a light sleeper to begin with, and so the loud knocking woke him instantly. Apparently, Lithuania was also a light sleeper. The brunet Baltic sat up quickly, his green eyes widening as he heard the pounding.

"I will be going to see who is wanting me at this hour," Russia said, climbing out of bed. However, he stopped when he felt someone grab his wrist.

"Russia…" Lithuania said, his voice pleading, "Don't hurt them. Whoever it is, please don't hurt them."

Russia paused for a moment.

"I…I will be trying not to, _Litva_," he said, and pulled away.

He had no intention of actually keeping his word if the person at the door proved to be Estonia. He had had it with that insolent nation, and if it happened to be him outside, then all hell was going to break loose, promise to Lithuania or no promise to Lithuania.

However, when he opened the door, it was not Estonia he found standing there, but Belarus.

"Little…sister?" Russia said quietly. He closed the door behind him, and managed to lock it behind him. The last thing he needed was for Lithuania to come out there and get involved.

"Where is Lithuania?" Belarus snapped, "I know you have him somewhere, Russia!"

"I have not been seeing him on this day," Russia lied. For once, the large nation was extremely grateful for his childish voice and constant smile.

_"I will not be letting her take away my only friend… Never."_

"He has disappeared," Belarus persisted, "And this is the only place he could be. Hand him over, Russia!"

"No," Russia said, "I cannot be giving you what I do not have!"

"You stubborn, ridiculous man!" Belarus exclaimed in frustration, "We both know that you have Lithuania prisoner! Give him back!"

"I do not have him, Belarus," Russia said, trying to restrain his growing frustration.

_"I made a promise. I said I would not be hurting anyone. I will not. I will not hurt my sister again…"_

"Then let me search your room," Belarus said, "If you don't have him in there, you have no reason not to let me in."

"You… You do not trust me, little sister?" Russia asked, making his voice sound even more childish than usual, with a hurt tone.

"Once, I would have," Belarus shot back, "Then you lied to me about the Baltics. You tried to kill them, Russia. You…you _did_ kill Lithuania at least once… I cannot trust you, ever again. Not after seeing his scars… Not after knowing that you not only hurt them, you hurt Ukraine too. I cannot trust you."

He could hear the anger in her voice, could see the betrayal in her eyes, and he did not understand. He did not understand what he had done wrong, to make them all hate him.

_"I was only trying… To keep everybody here, in our family… Safe…"_

"B-Belarus…" Russia whispered, now completely in earnest, "Why do you hate me?"

"Why do I hate you?" Belarus spat, "Well, Russia, let me tell you! You abused the Baltics, repeatedly, while lying to me and Ukraine about your actions! Not only that, but what you did to him drove Estonia insane! And you…you hurt me… You hurt Ukraine… You killed Toris… He doesn't deserve…"

"Toris?" Russia echoed, "Belarus, why do you… Why do you have so much of the strange feelings for him now…? And yet, you are hating me? You used to… You used to love me."

Belarus sighed, sounding rather annoyed.

"If you can't figure that out," she snapped, "Then you are a greater fool than I thought! I know you have Lithuania hidden somewhere, and rest assured, Russia, I will find him and rescue him!"

And with that, Belarus turned and marched off, leaving Russia standing alone in the hallway.

"But… He wants to stay with me," Russia whispered to the darkness, "He said he wanted to be my friend, so he must be wanting to stay."

The Russian returned to his room, where he found Lithuania curled up on the bed. As he approached, the Baltic nation's eyes snapped open.

"You didn't hurt her, did you?" he asked.

"How were you knowing it was a girl?" Russia asked, slightly confused.

"The walls here are thin, Russia," Lithuania said with a sad smile, "I would have thought you would know that by now, from all that has happened here. And, after all… You built the house this way."

* * *

At Ukraine's suggestion, the remaining nations had decided to sleep in one of the larger rooms downstairs, rather than disperse to their separate bedrooms. So, now, at what Estonia judged to be around midnight, he, Latvia, Belarus, and Ukraine were all lying in various spots in said room, wrapped in blankets that he and Ukraine had taken from their beds.

From their slow, peaceful breathing, he judged that the girls were both asleep. However, Latvia was restless, moving around almost constantly.

"You should go to sleep," Estonia whispered, "You need to be awake tomorrow, so we can all decide what to do together."

"Mhmm…" Latvia mumbled, "I know. But I keep getting worried. What if Lithuania's not okay?"

"He'll be fine," Estonia said.

_"It's not like he'll lose his mind or anything. Damn bastard! Doesn't he understand that not everyone can understand why he chooses to sacrifice himself like this?"_

"But what if he isn't fine?" Latvia asked, "What if he gets hurt really bad, like…like you did?"

"He won't," Estonia said, "He's stronger than that. Now go to sleep, Latvia. It's going to be a busy day tomorrow, if Belarus has anything to do with it."

"How come Belarus cares more about Lithuania than you do?" Latvia asked.

Estonia froze.

_"How come… Belarus… Cares more… Than you…"_

"She doesn't!" he snapped, nearly forgetting to whisper, "I do care!"

"Okay," Latvia said, and in the darkness, Estonia could distinguish fear in his voice, "I'm sorry, Estonia. I didn't mean to make you upset."

Estonia didn't reply, merely turned away so that he did not have to look at the dim shape that was Latvia.

_"Belarus doesn't care more than I do… I really do care about Lithuania… I'm just… I'm scared. I'm a coward, and I'm scared."_


	4. Chapter 3

**My attempt to update twice weekly may work yet! **

**So, although it's Wednesday today, starting next week, I'm going to try to update this story on either Monday or Tuesday, and then again on Friday. :) (And, for anyone wondering about "Written in Blood", it will be updated on Saturdays from now on. :) )**

**Thank you for all your lovely reviews so far! :) They really brighten my day.**

**Also, I've finally decided on a new name for this fanfic! As you've probably noticed, it's now called "Web of Delusions". :)**

* * *

Chapter Three:

When Lithuania woke up the next morning, it took him a moment to remember where he was. He could immediately tell from the warmth of the blankets on top of him that he was not in his own bed, but where exactly he was at the present moment, he had no idea.

The boy sat up, and it was then that he remembered what had happened.

Russia was curled up next to him in a very big bed. The larger nation appeared to be sleeping peacefully, but Lithuania couldn't be completely sure.

_"That's right," _Lithuania thought, _"He wouldn't let me leave, although I practically got down on my knees and begged him. Maybe today he'll be more open to hearing my opinion… I hope."_

He knew Estonia would have scolded him for his constant optimism, but it was the only thing that kept him going, especially under these circumstances.

Lithuania lay back down, deciding to wait until Russia woke up to leave the bed. As he did so, he noticed that there was an extra blanket tucked around him, a blanket that Russia was not sharing.

_"Did he do that?" _Lithuania thought, _"Or… No, it must have been him. No one else has been here."_

In spite of his current rather perilous circumstances, Lithuania smiled.

_"That was very nice of him… Maybe he really does care."_

He lay there quietly for a while, thinking back on what had happened in the past few days. It seemed so strange that everything had changed in so short a time. Estonia had lost his mind, and found it again, with Latvia's help. Belarus had discovered what went on behind the scenes in Russia's house. Ukraine had revealed a startling secret-the fact that she had known for some time what was going on. And Lithuania himself had found something that he would never give up. He had found friendship in Belarus.

_"But what if she realizes this was my idea?" _Lithuania thought, _"She hates Russia now, so what if…what if she doesn't want to be around me anymore?"_

The brunet boy sighed. He was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his optimism levels up.

_"It's probably better for her if she doesn't stay friends with me. After all… All that pain… Everything that happened to her… That was my fault for getting her involved."_

At that moment, he felt Russia stirring next to him. Lithuania glanced over just as the other nation's violet eyes flickered open.

"Good morning, _Litva_!" Russia said cheerfully, smiling at Lithuania.

"G-good morning, Mr. Russia," Lithuania said, smiling back. Once again, his ability to smile even when he felt like crying had come in extremely handy.

"Ivan, remember?" Russia asked, blinking at Lithuania.

"Oh… That's right," Lithuania said, "Good morning, Ivan."

Russia looked extremely pleased, much to Lithuania's relief.

_"If he stays in a good mood, then maybe… Maybe I can convince him to let me leave."_

Russia sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"I am having a great deal of the hunger," Russia informed Lithuania.

"W-would you like me to go get you something to eat?" Lithuania asked.

Russia paused, appearing to be deep in thought.

"No,_ Litva_…" he said, "I would not be wanting you to go find food. _I_ will go get some food. You will be staying here."

"B-but, Mr. Russia!" Lithuania protested, "How long do you w-want to keep me here?"

"Hmm…" Russia said thoughtfully, "Forever! And my name is Ivan."

"Yes, Ivan," Lithuania said, sighing, "But you know the others will worry about me, don't you?"

"It does not matter to me whether or not they are worrying," Russia said, "I will be telling them that you are okay, da? Now, _Litva_... I am sorry to be doing this, but I must be making certain that you will not be leaving while I am absent."

"W-what are you t-talking about?" Lithuania stammered.

"Get up," Russia said. Gone was the smile, gone was the happiness Lithuania had seen only a few minutes earlier. It had been once again replaced by a barely concealed ruthlessness, and that frightened the Baltic nation.

Shaking, Lithuania obeyed. It was cold in Russia's room without the blankets to keep him warm.

"Hmm…" Russia murmured, "The attic would be too much of the coldness… Oh! I know!"

Russia climbed out of bed also, and then, grabbing Lithuania by the arm, he pulled the smaller nation with him, marching off toward his large closet. Lithuania had only been inside Russia's closet once before, and he remembered well the circumstances that had led him there. That had been before Estonia had lost his mind, the day that the middle Baltic had gone to face Russia the first time. It was then, Lithuania suspected, that Estonia had begun to break. On that day, he had been beaten, and then thrown down the stairs that led to Russia's semi-secret attic.

"W-what are we doing?" Lithuania asked.

Russia ignored him, instead rummaging around in the closet. After a few moments, he came out with a pair of handcuffs, one of which he fastened to Lithuania's right arm.

"As I have been saying," Russia said, "This would not be my first choice to be doing to you. But, _Litva_… I must not be letting you leave me too."

"I won't run away," Lithuania said, "I promise."

"I am sorry," Russia said, "But your promise is not something I can trust."

The larger nation fastened the other handcuff to a large ring in the closet wall, and locked the cuffs tightly.

"Now," he said, "You will be staying here until my return, da?"

"Ivan…" Lithuania whispered, "Please…"

Russia ignored him, and then, he gently pushed Lithuania into the closet.

"Stay," Russia said. Then, he closed the door, leaving Lithuania alone, chained to the wall, in the dark.

_"I was such a fool," _Lithuania thought bitterly, _"I should have known that he would do this. He always does, doesn't he? And now…now, there's no telling what he will do to the others while I am locked in here. But…he didn't hurt me… So maybe he won't hurt them, either?"_

* * *

As it turned out, Ukraine was actually an excellent cook. When Estonia woke up, he found her in the kitchen, cooking, along with Belarus, who appeared to be trying her best to help out.

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" Ukraine chirped as he entered, "We made breakfast for you!"

"That's nice…" Estonia mumbled, not quite awake, "Wait… You can cook?"

"I am a woman, you know," Ukraine said, "Most of us know how to cook."

"She doesn't," Estonia said, glancing at Belarus, who was glaring in evident frustration at what he presumed was some part of breakfast.

"She is not included in most of us," Ukraine said, sighing, "Is Latvia awake yet?"

"No," Estonia said, "But I can go wake him up. If he hears there's food, he'll come running."

"Lithuania hasn't come back yet," Belarus said, "I still say Russia has him hidden somewhere."

"You make Lithuania sound like a treasure chest," Ukraine said, "I'm… I'm sure he'll be fine."

The girl turned away quickly, but not before Estonia identified a pained look on her face.

"He's always fine," the blonde Baltic said, trying to comfort himself, as well as Ukraine.

"Da," said a voice from the doorway, "_Litva_ is perfectly fine."

"So you _do _have him!" Belarus snapped, turning angrily toward the speaker.

Estonia froze.

_"He's here… He'll… He'll hurt me again…"_

"You do not need to be so much of the scaredness, Estonia," Russia said, "I have not come here to punish anyone."

"For some reason," Estonia said coldly, "I don't believe you."

"You never seem to be believing me," Russia sighed, "I have only come here to be finding some food. I am much of the hungriness."

"Where is Lithuania?" Belarus snapped.

"He is having plenty of the safety and the happiness," Russia said, "So you should not be worrying."

"Safety and happiness?" Belarus growled, "With you? I think not, brother!"

Russia ignored her, and instead began rummaging through the cupboards and pulling out various items.

"I will be going now," he said cheerfully, after he had finished collecting a large amount of food, "Be having fun with your breakfast. I will be back at some later time."

The Russian nearly skipped out of the kitchen, leaving three disoriented nations behind him.

"He admitted that he kidnapped Lithuania," Estonia observed.

"That _bastard_!" Belarus spat, "I'm going to follow him and _make_ him tell me what he's done to Toris!"

"No, you won't," Estonia said, "I'll go."

"You?" Belarus said scornfully, "What can you do?"

"I… There's the possibility of a trade," Estonia said, "If I could convince him to let me trade places with Lithuania…"

"No one is going!" Ukraine said firmly. Surprised, Estonia glanced at the girl, to see that she was glaring at both him and Belarus.

"I don't want anyone else to get hurt," Ukraine continued, "We can find a way to rescue Lithuania if he's in trouble, but we have to do it together."

"So Lithuania really is in trouble?" asked a small voice from the doorway.

Estonia turned to see Latvia standing in the doorway, staring at them. The tiny nation looked as if he were about to burst into tears.

"You guys knew all along he was in trouble," Latvia whispered, "But you weren't going to tell me! Why do you think I can't handle the truth? Estonia? Why don't you understand? I saw you at your worst… Why won't you tell me what's wrong? Why do you have to hide everything? Don't you… Don't you understand that you just make me even more scared?!"

Without waiting for a reply, the small boy turned and ran away, sobbing.

"L-Latvia!" Estonia gasped. The blonde Baltic took a step toward the door, only to find his path blocked by Belarus.

"I'll talk to him," the girl said.

"But you don't even know him!" Estonia protested.

"I know that he doesn't need to talk to you!" Belarus snapped, marching past him, "You foolish, self-centered coward!"

Estonia stared after her, his eyes wide.

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to hurt anyone… What did I do wrong now?"_

"She doesn't mean it," Ukraine said from behind him.

Estonia turned back to face the girl, staring desperately at her.

"Then why would she say it?" he asked.

"Her worry for Lithuania is overcoming everything else," Ukraine said, "So much so that she is trying to be him for all of us, by volunteering for everything… But it's also making her cold, and hard as stone. She's trying to cope, like you do."

"Am I really that stupid?" Estonia asked, "I just wanted to protect Latvia… I never meant for him to see what was happening to me, but once he found out, I… I just couldn't lose him."

"It's all right," Ukraine said, stepping toward him, "It's normal."

She reached out to him, but he stepped backwards, frightened by her unexpected approach. Ukraine drew back, looking sad and extremely surprised.

"You poor thing…" she murmured, and Estonia knew she had not meant him to hear that.

He turned away, not wanting to stay, but not really wanting to go either.

"Where are you going?" Ukraine called, sounding rather frightened.

"I… I just need to be alone," Estonia said quietly.

"Estonia…"

He ignored her, walking onward as if she had never existed.

"Estonia… What's happened to you?"

_"What's happened to me?" _Estonia thought bitterly, _"I can't be consistent. Some days I just want to hide… But other days, I would be willing to sacrifice my all, just to save you. Lithuania… If it wasn't for you, we'd all be safe now. But because of you, we're all going to get hurt again, to save you from the mess you created. I hope you're happy."_

* * *

Estonia wasn't completely sure where he would find Russia, but he needn't have worried. He encountered the larger nation a few minutes later, in the hallway that led to the staircase.

"Russia," Estonia said, fighting to keep the tremor out of his voice, "I need to speak with you."

"Oh," Russia said, "Estonia. What is it you are wanting?"

"Why did you kidnap Lithuania?" Estonia asked, "He never hurt you."

"That is exactly it," Russia said, "You are hating me, Belarus is hating me… Ukraine and Latvia are afraid of me. Only Lithuania still likes me. He came back when all of you left me alone, and I will not be letting him leave me."

_"As I thought. Lithuania did return to Russia of his own accord. You stubborn, optimistic fool, what have you done?"_

"But he would have come back, wouldn't he?" Estonia challenged, "He would have come back to us, because he cares! You may not have kidnapped him, Russia, but you have imprisoned him!"

"I would be watching my words if I were being in your place," Russia said, "There is still punishment necessary for the insubordinate things you have been doing of late."

"Go ahead and punish me," Estonia said, "I don't care. All I want is for the others to be safe and happy. And that includes Lithuania. I would like to make a deal with you, Russia. A trade. Me for Lithuania. I would let you do whatever you wanted to me, and I wouldn't resist."

"_Litva_ will not be leaving!" Russia growled, his voice taking on a sinister tone, "But you, Estonia… You will be wishing you had not spoken to me at this time."

Estonia felt his heart beginning to speed up.

_"No, not again! Please not again!"_

"I'm sorry!" the blonde Baltic whimpered, stepping back, "Please don't hurt me…"

A moment later, the food Russia was holding had been dropped in a heap on the floor, and Estonia found himself being shoved against the wall, Russia's gloved hands wrapped around his throat.

"You were trying to murder me," Russia said, "So I have every right to be murdering you."

"Russia…" Estonia whimpered, "Please…"

His feet were not touching the floor. He couldn't breathe, and Russia's grip only seemed to be getting tighter.

_"Maybe if he kills me this way… Maybe he won't hurt me again…"_

However, this was not to be. A moment later, Russia released his grip on Estonia, and the Baltic nation fell to the floor, gasping for breath.

"You would not be thinking I would let you get off so easily?" Russia asked cheerfully. The large nation reached inside his coat and pulled out his faucet pipe.

Estonia flinched, and tried to back away, but found that the wall blocked any chance of escape.

_"At least it's me. It's me getting hurt, and not Latvia or Ukraine… It's okay…"_

But when Russia's pipe came down on his shoulder, every pretense that everything was okay started to slip away. Soon, Estonia was screaming, crying out again and again as the cold, metal pipe slammed into his body.

At first, his cries were wordless, merely screams of agony. But when he could no longer stand it, when he felt his sanity beginning to slip away again, they became cries for help.

"Help me!" Estonia sobbed, "I know I did terrible things, I know I threatened you all, but please help me!"

Russia struck him again, and he screamed. His glasses finally slipped off and fell to the floor, where they lay next to him.

"I'm sorry…" Estonia whimpered, "Please, help me…"

"They won't come for you, Estonia," Russia said, "Remember? They don't care about you."

"No, they do…" Estonia sobbed, "They do love me! I won't believe what you say anymore! They really care about me!"

But as the beating continued, he found himself beginning to doubt that. Because no matter how loudly he screamed, no one came to save him. And when Russia finally stopped the torture and disappeared, Estonia was left leaning against the wall, sobbing, his body aching all over.

_"Why didn't you come for me? Didn't you hear me calling? Latvia? Ukraine? Why did you leave me all alone…?"_


	5. Chapter 4

**Hello! I actually managed to update again this week! (Or did I...? The site is being dodgy again...) **

**I have nothing to say here. Hrrm. That's not normal for me...**

* * *

Chapter Four:

Belarus wasn't sure why she had decided that she would be the one to attempt to comfort Latvia. Perhaps it was because Ukraine was busy, and Estonia couldn't even comfort himself.

Not…that she knew the first thing about comforting people. But, at least she was something. And she got the feeling that what Latvia really needed was someone who would treat him like an adult. And as Belarus had no idea how to deal with children, she would have no choice but to treat Latvia as an equal.

She found him in the room they had all slept in the night before, huddled behind a sofa, his head resting on his knees.

"Latvia," Belarus said, attempting to crawl behind the sofa, and finding that she barely fit, "You're going to miss breakfast."

"Don't care," Latvia mumbled, "Estonia doesn't want me there anyways."

"I think he does," Belarus said, "He's just being an idiot at the moment, and so he thinks he doesn't want anyone around. Really, he's probably just so scared of being left behind that he's pushing everyone away without even realizing it."

"Is Lithuania really in trouble?" Latvia asked, looking up at her.

Belarus paused for a moment.

_"He's old enough to know what's going on."_

"Russia wants to keep Lithuania here, even if the rest of us leave," she said, "He's…becoming very possessive of Lithuania."

"But… But if Lithuania stays here, then none of us will get to leave!" Latvia whimpered, "He always comes up with everything we're going to do!"

"We're all going to get out of here together," Belarus said, "I promise."

"Promises always get broken," Latvia said, "Lithuania promised he'd always keep me and Estonia safe. How can he do that if he's not here?"

"We _will_ get him back!" Belarus insisted, "It will be all right, Latvia."

The small nation smiled unsurely at her, and she smiled back slightly.

"Come on," Belarus said, "Ukraine has to be almost finished making breakfast by now, and she's a fairly good cook. You don't want to miss that, do you?"

"O-okay," Latvia said.

Belarus crawled out from behind the sofa, and Latvia followed. As she started walking toward the kitchen, Belarus felt a small, trembling hand slip into hers.

_"He really is just a child, after all," _she thought, glancing back at Latvia, _"He still needs someone to hold his hand."_

* * *

It was only when Belarus and Latvia returned, without Estonia, that Ukraine realized that something must be wrong. Leaving the two younger nations behind to eat their breakfast, the girl went in search of the missing Baltic.

_"Why would he run off like this?" _Ukraine fretted, _"I could help him, if he would let me."_

When she finally found Estonia, however, Ukraine could only stand and stare. The blonde Baltic was slumped against the wall, his eyes closed. He appeared to be breathing, but from the bruises on his hands, and the blood and rips in his clothes, Ukraine could guess what had happened.

"Estonia…" Ukraine whispered, "Are you awake?"

There was no reply, and so, Ukraine marched off to procure some bandages. With this task accomplished, she set about bandaging Estonia's injuries. When the process was completely, she went back to the kitchen to tell Latvia and Belarus that she might be some time, and then returned to keep watch on Estonia.

It was only about a half hour that she sat there, guarding him, but it felt like a long time. And the more she thought about it, the less she really wanted to be there.

_"What if he wakes up talking about guns again? I don't think I can handle that…"_

Just when she was ready to give up and leave Estonia to wake up on his own, the blonde Baltic began to stir. After a moment, his eyes opened slightly, and Ukraine found herself frozen in his blue-eyed gaze.

"Uk…Ukraine?" Estonia said, his voice quiet, "What are you doing here?"

"Fixing you up," Ukraine said, "I didn't want you to be all alone when you woke up, so I stayed with you."

She suddenly noticed that Estonia's glasses were still lying on the floor, just out of his reach. Hesitantly, Ukraine picked the glasses up, and attempted to place them on Estonia's face.

"Do you know how awkward it is to have someone else put your glasses on you?" Estonia asked.

"I'm s-sorry…" Ukraine squeaked, attempting to stand up. However, Estonia reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back onto the floor.

"Don't leave," Estonia said, and he sounded so vulnerable and scared that Ukraine couldn't help but comply with his wishes.

They sat there on the floor for several moments, Estonia trying to move and finding out that movement hurt more than it helped, and Ukraine wondering if he would be all right.

"Why does this always happen to me?" Estonia wondered. Ukraine got the feeling that he was talking to himself, and not to her, but all the same, the question startled her.

"No matter how much I try to help…" Estonia murmured, "I just keep getting hurt."

"Oh, Estonia…" Ukraine sighed, "We're all getting hurt, you know."

"When have you ever been hurt?" Estonia snapped, "Russia didn't hurt you!"

Unconsciously, Ukraine found her hand move to rest protectively over her right arm. Luckily, Estonia didn't seem to notice.

_"I don't think you know how much the rest of us have been hurt. Estonia… Russia did hurt me."_

* * *

Lithuania had never felt more desperate… Not to mention, it was extremely uncomfortable in the closet, especially as he happened to be handcuffed to a wall just at present.

_"What if Russia hurts the others while I'm locked up in here? What if he takes advantage of my absence to get his revenge on Estonia? What if…?"_

The Baltic nation tried not to think about what might happen, but he couldn't help it. Horrible scenarios continued to play out in his mind, until, finally, he began to cry silently.

_"I was such an idiot, and now I can't even protect the others. I made things worse again…"_

He heard the door to Russia's bedroom open, and froze, not knowing what to expect. He identified the heavy footsteps as belonging to Russia, and, panicking slightly, attempted to find some way to disguise the tears that were still evident on his face. However, before he could wipe away his tears, the footsteps were almost upon him.

Russia opened the closet door, smiling in a way that rather frightened Lithuania. As he looked down, trying to avoid Russia's gaze, he noticed that there was blood on the other nation's coat.

"Russia… What did you do?" Lithuania whispered.

"Do?" Russia asked, sounding so incredibly innocent that Lithuania might have almost believed nothing was wrong, had it not been for the obviously fresh blood on the larger nation's coat, "I have not been doing anything, _Litva_. I was just getting us some of the provisions."

"There is blood on your coat," Lithuania said, "Whose?"

Russia's smile wavered slightly.

"It is not being any of the new blood…"

"Russia," Lithuania said, "Don't lie. Friends don't lie."

There was a moment's pause, and then, Lithuania's head jerked back as Russia slapped him in the face.

"Friends are not always questioning each other," Russia hissed, "Do not be questioning me, _Litva_, or I might be planning more of the bad things for Estonia."

_"It was Estonia… Why him? He won't be able to take it… He'll end up insane again, and it will be horrible…"_

"Russia… Ivan… Please," Lithuania said, "You know it was me who started this. You've said it often enough. It's my fault that all this happened, so don't hurt the others. They did not start this."

"Da," Russia said, "That is true. I will… I will be trying not to hurt anyone in the future."

"If you have to," Lithuania said, "If you're so angry that you absolutely have to take it out on someone…"

He paused for a moment, wondering whether he might not be losing his mind.

"If you have to hurt someone, then let it be me. You can do whatever you want to me."

Russia reached over and unlocked the handcuffs, allowing Lithuania to finally wipe the telltale tears off of his face.

"_Litva_?" Russia asked, "Were you crying?"

"Of course not," Lithuania said, smiling at Russia, "I like being here. You're my friend."

"Silly little _Litva_," Russia said, "You were just telling me that friends should not lie."

"I... I just don't want you to be sad, Russia," he said, "So… I lied… Because I didn't want to hurt you."

"If you are not wanting to hurt me, why do you question me?" Russia asked, looking slightly confused.

"Because I have to tell you what is right and wrong," Lithuania said, "No one else ever tried, did they?"

"I know what is right," Russia said.

"Russia…" Lithuania sighed, "Ivan. Please. I need you to listen to me. You cannot solve anything by hurting us. All you will do is push us over the edge, into insanity and despair. None… None of us want that."

"You think I'm insane!" Russia said, his tone angry and accusing, "I know you think that. You have always been thinking I am insane, and you are still saying you are my friend? _Litva_… Why are you lying to me?"

"Russia, I'm not lying," Lithuania said, "I'm trying to save us all, before it's too late…"

"Your time with America was not much help to you," Russia hissed, "Now you are trying to be everyone's hero. I will _not_ let you leave me, my little Toris, even if everyone else does. You will stay with me."

"Forever?" Lithuania said, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him, "You want to keep me prisoner forever?"

"If you will not stay with me willingly… Then, da,_ Litva_. I would be keeping you prisoner."

"Russia, please!" Lithuania sobbed, "Why can't we just be friends? Why do you have to keep everyone prisoner? I can't… I can't truly be your friend until I can trust you not to hurt me! Don't you see? You're alone because you made everyone scared of you…"

"It is not my fault!" Russia roared. His violet eyes alight with anger, the large nation grabbed Lithuania by the throat and slammed him against the wall.

"I am trying to be helping you!" Russia shouted, "I am trying, _Litva_, but you are not believing me! I am wanting to help, but instead of letting me help, you try to defy me!"

Lithuania could barely breathe, let alone form coherent sentences. However, he managed to choke out a few words.

"I'm sorry… Russia… Can't… Believe you…"

"Why not?" Russia hissed, "Why don't you trust me? Tell me, Lithuania!"

The larger nation released his grip on Lithuania's throat, but as the brunet crumpled to the ground, Russia began kicking him.

"Tell me why you don't trust me, _Litva_! Tell me!"

"Tell me why you hurt me!" Lithuania screamed, "Please! And don't say it's because you want to help!"

"I _am_ trying to be helping you!" Russia shouted, kicking Lithuania harder, "But you won't believe it! Why can't you just listen?"

"We didn't do anything!" Lithuania wailed, "Estonia and Latvia are children, and you torture them! They can't take it, Russia! I can't protect them anymore, and you won't stop hurting them! You even hurt your own sisters… Why, Russia…? You said we could be friends, but instead you hurt everyone…"

There was a cracking noise, and for a moment, everything went dark, and all Lithuania could do was scream. When he came back to reality, sobbing, he realized that Russia had managed to break at least one of his ribs.

"I'm sorry!" Lithuania sobbed, "Please forgive me, Mr. Russia!"

"You sound like Estonia now," Russia said, "So sure of yourself, and then suddenly having the scaredness."

Lithuania couldn't reply. He could only cry and try not to start screaming again. It hurt so much…

_"I want to go home… I just want to go home… Where is my home? Where is Belarus…? Estonia, Latvia…? Is it okay for me to get hurt so much? I'm tired of being strong… Please… I don't want to do this anymore… Just… Let me die..."_

* * *

**May I just say that I feel incredibly guilty about what is happening here...? And that is _not_ normal for me... **

**Anyways, next update _should_ be on either Monday or Tuesday, and tomorrow, I will plan to update "Written in Blood"**


	6. Chapter 5

**Yay! I have officially achieved my goal of updating on time! :D **

**I can't think of anything else to say here...**

**Except, EEEEEEEEK! This fanfiction. It has twenty-five reviews. It has, not counting this one, five chapters. Wow. YOU GUYS ARE THE MOST AWESOME PEOPLE EVER! Thank you! :D **

* * *

Chapter Five:

Latvia was starting to get nervous.

"Hey, Belarus?" he said, trying to keep his voice from shaking, "Do you think something happened to Estonia? Ukraine's been gone for a really long time, and I thought she was going to find him…"

"Why do you care about him?" Belarus asked, "He tried to kill Lithuania and Russia."

"Yeah…" Latvia said, "But he did it because he's really scared. Estonia's hurt really bad, on the inside."

"I know that," Belarus said, "I heard what happened from Lithuania. I just don't understand why any of you still care about him, after the stupid stunt he pulled!"

"He's not a bad guy!" Latvia protested, his voice rising in pitch and volume, "He doesn't mean to hurt anybody, he's just scared and he hates it here! He hates Mr. Russia, and he just wants to go home… That doesn't make him evil!"

"It seems to me," said Belarus, "That he's just like Russia sometimes, and when he isn't acting like Russia, he's either endangering everyone, or acting like a coward."

"It's nice to know how you feel, Belarus. Thank you for your honesty."

Both Latvia and Belarus turned toward the doorway, and there, Latvia saw Estonia, who appeared to be badly injured and was being supported by Ukraine.

"Estonia!" Latvia squeaked, running over to the middle Baltic, "What happened?"

"Nothing, Lati," Estonia said tiredly, "I'm fine."

"It was Mr. Russia again, right?" Latvia asked, "Come on, Estonia… Please don't lie to me anymore."

"I'm sorry, Latvia…" Estonia whispered, "But if I can't protect you, then there's nothing I'm good for."

Ukraine had released her hold on Estonia, and, suddenly, the blonde Baltic swayed, and, to Latvia's horror, Estonia fell to his knees.

"Estonia!" Latvia yelped, "Ms. Ukraine, I think Estonia's really hurt!"

"I'm fine," Estonia mumbled, "Don't need help."

But, looking down at him, Latvia knew it wasn't true. Estonia's eyes were wide and full of pain, and he looked so tired…

"Est…Estonia…" Latvia whimpered, kneeling in front of the older boy, and trying to hold his friend up at the same time, "You gotta rest, okay?"

"Fine, Lati…" Estonia mumbled, "Whatever… Makes…you happy…"

And then, to Latvia's dismay, Estonia passed out.

* * *

Lithuania didn't remember blacking out. In fact, he couldn't remember anything since Russia had broken his rib.

Now, he was only half-conscious, lying curled up against the wall. But he knew that, at some point, he must have been completely unconscious, because the last thing he remembered, the sun had been shining in the window.

It was dark, now, and he couldn't tell if he was alone, or if Russia was there.

And although he didn't want to admit it, he was frightened.

_"I… I told him… He could hurt me if he wanted to… But… I don't want to end up like Estonia…"_

But if he didn't do this, wouldn't Russia just hurt the others? Unless he let Russia hurt him, the others would suffer. And he didn't want that. But he felt so, so alone…

_"I want to go back. I want to go back to the times when I wasn't alone. At least then, I had Estonia and Latvia. They were there… I didn't wake up alone then. Is…is this how Russia feels?"_

Silently, Lithuania began to cry. He had practiced the art of silent tears. In times past, he had had to cry very, very quietly in order to keep Latvia and Estonia from hearing him through the thin walls of their bedrooms. And now, he cried painful, silent tears, because he was afraid of Russia hearing him, and hurting him again.

_"Belarus… Estonia… Latvia… Ukraine… Run away, far away, and don't come back. Please… If you are safely gone, then I can know… I can know that at least you are free. Don't try to save me… Please try to save me… I'm scared…" _

And then, he remembered a conversation he had had with Estonia. It had been only a day or two before, but it felt like a lifetime.

"Once, I told you I wasn't a child. But really…we're all just children, aren't we…?"

_"Yes…" _Lithuania thought, _"We're only scared, fragile little children…and children need… What do children need? I can't…remember… Can't remember that word…"_

* * *

Latvia had decided that he was not going to leave Estonia alone ever again. However, it appeared that Belarus at least was doubtful that he would be able to accomplish his resolution.

"So you're not going to leave even if he dies?" Belarus asked, sounding almost bored.

"He's a nation, so he won't die," Latvia said.

"The naivety of children never ceases to annoy me," Belarus muttered.

"Belarus…" Ukraine said in a warning tone, "Why can't you be civil for once?"

"We're doing _nothing_ at the moment, while we ought to be trying to save Lithuania!" Belarus snapped, "Why should I be civil to any of you?"

"We all want Lithuania to be okay," Latvia said, "But we can't do anything right now, 'cause Mr. Russia is really, really scary…"

Belarus made an extremely frustrated noise, and then, standing up, she marched out of the room.

"I didn't mean to make her mad…" Latvia whispered.

"She loves Lithuania, and she wants to help him, but she can't right now," Ukraine said, "She's just…frustrated. I'll talk to her. And when Estonia wakes up, we _all_ need to talk."

"Okay," Latvia said. He waited until Ukraine had gone, and then, he went over to where Estonia lay on the sofa. The blonde Baltic still had not woken up, although night had now fallen.

"_Iguanija_…" Latvia murmured, kneeling next to the other boy, "You're going to be okay, right?"

There was no reply, but Latvia kept talking anyways.

"When you wake up, we're all gonna figure out what to do together. So you'd better wake up soon, since you're the smartest one, and we need you to help us plan. And we'll get outta here, and all be happy again… Even Lithuania will come with us. It'll be really fun! And you can come to my house anytime, if you get lonely. Or… If you want, we could stay together. Me and you and Lithuania, if he wants to come. All together in a nice house. Except it will be a little, cozy house, instead of a big, scary one. You'd like that, right? And nobody would ever hurt you again…"

Suddenly, it occurred to Latvia that they might not get out, that everything might not be okay. And then, he wondered what would happen if they didn't manage to escape.

"I'm gonna make sure nobody ever hurts you again…" Latvia whispered, "They shouldn't do those things to you… So I'll make it stop. I…I'll save you. I'll be strong, like Lithuania. Maybe…maybe I can… Maybe I can be the one that saves you guys now? Isn't it my turn to do something besides sit here uselessly? I don't want to let anyone hurt you again, Estonia. You're my friend, maybe my best friend, now… So I'll protect you, like you protected me. Okay?"

Latvia stood up, his expression determined.

"I'll try to fix things. Don't worry, Estonia. We'll all be okay soon… I hope."

* * *

Belarus had never been more angry or confused in her life. She was standing outside in the snow, staring at the snowman that she had helped the others build.

"We were united in an effort then, although it did not matter," the girl murmured, "So why cannot we work together when it matters most?"

"It's because we're all so frightened," said a quiet, sad voice.

Belarus turned, and saw Ukraine watching her. The older girl sighed.

"I don't want to risk being hurt, although I know we have to save Lithuania," Ukraine said, "Latvia… I think he's too little to understand what's really going on. And Estonia…"

Suddenly, Ukraine was crying, her body shaking as she sobbed uncontrollably. It almost frightened Belarus, seeing her normally cheerful sister in such a state.

"Estonia just doesn't want to hurt anybody!" Ukraine wailed to the snowy landscape, "He's just scared of getting hurt again because he doesn't want to lose his mind! He's just trying to protect himself and everyone, and… And…"

Ukraine broke off, sobbing.

"And he thinks that inaction will not hurt people?" Belarus asked, "Do you really think that there is no possibility of Lithuania losing his mind next?!"

Ukraine looked up at her, her eyes wide.

"L-Lithuania losing his m-mind?"

"He's not as strong as you think he is," Belarus said, a desperate note creeping into her voice, "He just pretends he's strong so that no one will worry about him. I have seen him in the depths of despair, and believe me, he cannot be left with Russia. I think… I think Russia is obsessing over him, not necessarily in a way that could be more dangerous to Lithuania than Russia's usual behavior, but as if he was a possession."

"T-then… Then we have to help him," Ukraine said, "We can't leave him behind, I knew that before… But how do we convince Russia to let Lithuania come with us?"

"Standing united against him worked once," Belarus said, "It could work again."

"We can try," Ukraine said, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to erase her tears, "So, let's go see if Estonia is awake yet, and we can make our plan!"

As Ukraine turned back toward the house, Belarus smiled.

_"Finally, someone who's willing to act. Hold on, Lithuania… We're coming."_

* * *

Latvia didn't regret his decision, but he did regret the fact that his shivering was an unconscious reaction to fear, and one he couldn't seem to stop.

_"But even if I am scared, I can still help, right? I can be brave, even though I want to run away. As long as I don't run away, then I might be able to do something to help everyone…"_

He was outside Russia's door, now, shivering with both fear and cold. Russia's house seemed to have gotten colder of late.

This was the first time that Latvia had ever gone knocking on Russia's door of his own volition, and the thought that this action had probably been the deciding factor in Estonia going over the edge of insanity frightened him.

_"But Estonia did that to save me, because he thought I was in trouble. So I can do this now to save him and Lithuania."_

Latvia took a deep breath, and knocked on Russia's door.

* * *

**And this has been a chapter. A really short chapter full of uselessness. But it had to be written, and the action (or is it just insanity?) will pick back up next time! **


	7. Chapter 6

**Hello, everyone! I feel like it's been a long time since I updated, and I don't know why... **

**Anyways. Staying on track... Um... I have nothing to say.**

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Chapter Six:

It took a few moments for Russia to open the door, but when he did, he looked genuinely surprised to see Latvia there.

"I had been thinking that it would be Belarus who would come here at this time," Russia said, "What is it you are wanting, little Latvia?"

"I… I w-want…" Latvia stammered. This was significantly harder than he had thought it would be.

_"Come on. Be brave, for Estonia and Lithuania."_

"I want you to stop hurting my friends!" Latvia squeaked, his voice coming out extremely high-pitched.

"I would not be hurting them if they would be obedient," Russia said, "What are you thinking you can do to help them?"

"I d-don't know," Latvia said, "But I've gotta try, because they're my friends, and they don't deserve to get hurt. E-Estonia's going to go i-insane again, unless we can get out of here… And I want Lithuania… I want Lithuania to come with us when we leave!"

Russia sighed.

"You seem to not be understanding, Latvia. _Litva_ is the one person who still cares about me, but you want to take him away. Isn't that a little bit selfish?"

"I think it's more selfish of you to keep him locked up in here without letting him see anybody!" Latvia blurted.

Russia's eyes narrowed, and Latvia stepped back slightly, shaking harder.

_"W-why do I o-open my mouth?!"_

"Latvia…" Russia said, "You should be thinking about what you say before you are speaking, da? And since you are not thinking about your words before opening your mouth… I think I will have to teach you to be more of the quietness."

"T-teach yourself to be m-more quiet!" Latvia exclaimed, "You talk way more than me, and you don't make any sense when you talk!"

"I am thinking that you have been spending too much time with Estonia," Russia said, "You are starting to sound like him."

"You hurt Estonia!" Latvia cried, "He hasn't woken up since this morning! Stop hurting my friends, Mr. Russia! It's… It's not nice to hurt people!"

"It is not nice to be waking people in the middle of the night and screaming at them, either," Russia said, "So, Latvia, we will exchange not-nice things. I think that it is time to stop being so lenient with you just because you are so little…"

"M-Mr. R-R-Russia…" Latvia whimpered, backing away, "P-please don't…"

"I thought you were wanting me not to hurt your silly friends?" Russia said, "So, it would be most logical for you to get hurt, instead."

"Russia, leave him alone…" said a weak, tired voice from inside Russia's room.

_"Lithuania!" _Latvia thought, _"But he sounds so… He sounds exhausted…and beaten…"_

"I'm okay, Lithuania!" Latvia squeaked. He glanced at Russia, who was still glaring at him.

"I-if you've g-gotta h-h-hurt me, c-can we go s-somewhere else?"

"Da, Latvia," Russia said, "That would be a good idea."

Russia grabbed Latvia's arm and pulled the tiny boy down the hallway, and downstairs to what had once been the Baltics' area of the house. At the end of the hall, there was an empty room, which Latvia had once nicknamed 'The Torture Room'. In the distant past, this had been where Lithuania usually ended up receiving punishment. Latvia usually managed to escape mostly unscathed, but this time…

_"This time, I _want_ this… Don't I? Or… Do I just want freedom? Nope, none of these… I just want everybody to be safe. So… I can try to ask Mr. Russia to stop…"_

Russia pulled Latvia into the empty room, and then, locking the door behind them, turned to face the small country.

"Take off your shirt, Latvia. It is nice shirt, so we do not want to ruin it."

"Mr. Russia!" Latvia squeaked, "I want to ask you something! Will you please try not hurting anybody? It would be nice if you could do that! And then we could all be happy, and we wouldn't have to go away…"

"Latvia!" Russia snapped, "When you are stopping the misbehaving, I will stop the hurting! Now, take off your shirt!"

Shaking, Latvia complied with the larger nation's wishes.

_"I gotta s-stop being a coward… But he's so s-scary…"_

"Now, on your knees. And try to be staying still," Russia said.

"W-what are you g-gonna do?" Latvia asked, allowing himself to drop into a kneeling position.

"I think that since your bones are so fragile, it would not be much good to use my pipe at this time," Russia said, "So… I am thinking that a whip will not hurt you irreparably, da?"

"Y-yeah…" Latvia stammered, "Y-you're probably r-right."

"You are seeming very calm," Russia noted.

"I d-don't mind this," Latvia said, "I c-can't really remember how getting punished feels, since Estonia and Lithuania always stand up for me. M-Mr. Russia… If people have to get hurt as long as we misbehave, and Estonia and Lithuania usually get punished instead of me… Couldn't it be my turn to get punished for them, from now on?"

"It is funny…" Russia said, "Lithuania said the same thing."

The whip slashed down without warning, and Latvia gasped.

_"Don't scream, don't scream… You're fine… You're okay! You're going to be strong now, and not get scared even though it hurts…"_

"You and Lithuania are so much alike," Russia commented, "It is interesting how even though you are so small and shivery, you are like him, in the end."

"I… I'm like Estonia too," Latvia whispered, "Or I wouldn't be here."

"Da," Russia said, "Like Estonia, you think that if you can be taking everyone else's punishments, you are worth something. Sometimes, with Lithuania… I think he is almost _liking_ to get hurt, but not only because he wants to save everyone."

"How come you act like you care about Lithuania, but then you hurt him?" Latvia asked, "N-nobody should do that, Mr. Russia. It's c-confusing…"

"You are starting to sound like Lithuania," Russia snapped, slashing the whip down again, "Be quiet now!"

But Latvia couldn't be quiet, although he tried. The whipping was extremely hard to ignore, and although he tried to be quiet, and not to scream, he couldn't stop tiny, pained sobs from escaping. Eventually, his whimpers turned into sobbing, pleading moans.

"It is surprising that you do not react much," Russia said, "I would be expecting you to scream louder than this…"

"I d-don't want E-Estonia and Lithuania to h-hear me…" Latvia whimpered, "Can… can you stop now? Please, sir… It hurts… It hurts a lot…"

"I know," Russia said, "But you said you were wanting to find out how it felt."

"Not because I _want _to get hurt!" Latvia exclaimed, "It's because… I don't want you to hurt my friends. It's _cruel _to hurt people over and over…"

He paused, trying to stop himself from saying what he wanted to. But, somehow, he ended up blurting it out anyways.

"Mr. Russia, you're crazy if you think any of this is helping us!"

"Latvia…" Russia hissed, his voice dangerously low, "You should not have been saying such things."

"Well, you are crazy!" Latvia replied, "You're even crazier than…"

He never had a chance to tell Russia exactly what he thought of him. He was cut off by an unexpected, crushing pain as something crashed down on his back. After that, he couldn't even think, let alone form coherent sentences.

At some point, Latvia realized that despite the fact that Russia himself had stated that using a metal pipe to punish him would crush his bones, that had not stopped the large nation.

He didn't know how long it took before he blacked out, but he did know that by that time, he felt as if there must be pieces of him scattered around somewhere. That was how much it hurt.

_"I'm s-sorry… I guess… I can't help you guys after all… And I can't even…be brave… Can't…even… Stay awake…"_

* * *

Estonia woke up alone. He should have been used to it by now, but he had still hoped, deep inside, that he could somehow wake up with someone there, just for once.

_"Is it my own fault that I'm alone? I… I suppose it…"_

"Estonia!" a cheerful voice said from the doorway, "You're awake!"

_"Ukraine… Where's Latvia got to?"_

"How long was I out?" Estonia asked, sitting up.

"Most of the day," Ukraine said, "We were really worried about you. Latvia literally wouldn't leave your side."

"If he wouldn't leave me…" Estonia said, "Then where is he?"

Ukraine frowned.

"That's what I'd like to know. Belarus and I were outside for a few minutes, and when we came back, he was nowhere to be found."

"Then we have to find him!" Estonia exclaimed, "He could get hurt!"

"Don't get excited," said a quiet voice from behind Ukraine, "But I found him."

Ukraine turned around, and Estonia heard her gasp.

"What's wrong?" the blonde Baltic asked, trying not to panic.

"N-nothing!" Ukraine stammered, "Latvia's just a little bit… Um…"

Estonia stood up, and, to his relief, he no longer felt dizzy.

"What happened to Latvia?" he said, hearing his own voice drop to a low and probably slightly menacing tone.

Ukraine turned back to look at him, and Estonia saw tears in her eyes.

"You don't need to see," she said.

"Damn it, Ukraine, stop sheltering me!" Estonia snapped, "You're worse than Lithuania! I have a right to know what happened to my friend!"

"Let him see," Belarus said quietly, "He'll get angry if you don't."

Ukraine bit her lip, and stepped aside, allowing Estonia to see Belarus clearly. And since he could see Belarus, he could also see the child she was carrying.

"Latvia!" Estonia exclaimed, confused and horrified by what he saw. The smaller nation appeared to be unconscious at the very least, as he was not moving, and from the cuts and bruises on Latvia's body, Estonia could easily imagine what had to have happened.

"I am going to kill Russia…" Estonia muttered, "And no one is going to stop me, this time."

"Estonia…" Ukraine whimpered.

"It's not as if I'd actually do it!" Estonia snapped, "Belarus is right, you know! I am a coward, and that's why I won't go near Russia ever again if I can help it! Anytime I try to help, I get hurt more… But now… Why would he want to hurt Latvia? Why?!"

"Estonia… It's all right…" Ukraine said, and then, to Estonia's surprise, the girl ran over and…

"What are you even _doing_?" Estonia roared. He honestly hadn't meant to be so forceful, but the fact of the matter was that Ukraine was the only person he knew who would come over and hug him without any warning, and it was more than a little bit disconcerting at times.

Ukraine squeaked in fright, and backed away, leaving Estonia more confused than ever.

_"She hugs me, then she's afraid of me… Why are girls so weird?"_

By this time, Belarus had shoved past Ukraine and Estonia, and laid Latvia down on the sofa.

"We need to fix him up as quickly as possible," Belarus said, "I don't think he's breathing."

For a moment, Estonia was seriously considering arming himself with every gun in the house and unloading the entirety of the contents of the aforementioned guns at Russia. But then, looking at Latvia, who was so small and still and _hurt_, he felt more sad than angry.

"He's just a little kid…" Estonia murmured, "He doesn't… He doesn't deserve…"

"Estonia?" he heard someone say, "Estonia, are you… Are you crying?"

And then he was crying, because in the end, despite all the times he had tried to help, to save someone, he had been unconscious and unable to help when Latvia had really needed him.

Someone was hugging him again… It had to be Ukraine, and this time, he returned the gesture. What did it matter what they did anymore, when Lithuania was being held prisoner and Latvia had technically been beaten to death? Their home-such as it was-was falling apart around them. This was no time to shove people away, as he had always done before. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed someone now.

"H-he saved me…" Estonia whimpered, "He saved my life… And when he needed me… I wasn't there…"

"Do you think that maybe…" Belarus asked, "Maybe he wanted to save you?"

Estonia had no idea what to say to that.

_"Latvia… Trying to save me?"_

"Estonia, don't cry…" Ukraine said, "We'll fix Latvia up, and he'll be fine."

But Estonia couldn't stop crying, because in the end, by trying to save his friends, he had failed them all.

* * *

Lithuania could hear Latvia's screams from where he lay, and he began to cry again, listening, powerless to help. He could barely even move, let alone run downstairs.

"Russia…" he whimpered, "You broke…you broke your promise…"

It was as if he was sinking into some kind of delirium, and the harder he tried to escape, the more they were all pulled into this insanity.

_"So there will be no escape. We…we're all… Are we all doomed to die here, broken and insane?"_

He lay there, sobbing, wondering what would happen when Russia returned. And he could still hear Latvia's screams.

_"Latvia… No… He'll die… Russia doesn't know how fragile he is… Have to… Help…"_

But he couldn't move. And when Latvia's screams finally began to grow quieter, and then faded away, he gave up trying. What did it matter? They were all going to die here, in this despair.

"Oh, _Litva_…" said a voice from the doorway, "You seem…sad? Are you sad?"

"You promised me you wouldn't hurt them," Lithuania said, "You lied to me."

Russia was beside him now, lifting him from the floor, and Lithuania had no strength to resist him.

"You hurt Latvia…" Lithuania whispered desperately, "He's too little… You'll…"

"Hush, _Litva_…" Russia said softly, "You are not of the wellness at this time."

"Because of you!" Lithuania sobbed, "Why, Russia? I'm scared…"

"Scared?" Russia asked, "You are scared of me?"

Lithuania couldn't reply, not to that question. He could only sob, even as Russia laid him on the bed and tucked the blankets around him.

"I scared you…?" Russia asked, his voice distant and confused.

Lithuania whimpered and shook his head.

_"I don't want to answer. You'll hurt me."_

And then he heard someone humming. A slow, quiet, soothing sound. Lithuania felt he should remember the song, felt that it was a song Russia liked to sing. But he couldn't remember. He could barely even remember who _he_ was, let alone what song his captor was humming.

A large hand was stroking his hair now, and he was too exhausted to move, too worn out to shy away, although he was terrified.

"Maybe I am not wanting to hurt you…" Russia said, "Because you are the only one that cares for me. So that is why I break my promise. _Litva_… I would rather not hurt you, but it seems that you are misbehaving more and more every time I am trying to help you."

But by that time, Lithuania was too far gone to reply.

* * *

***still has nothing to say* *has built a higher wall to keep people from killing me* **

**I fail at author's notes lately...**

**Anyways, please review! :) **


	8. Chapter 7

**Hello! I say hello too much, but how else can I introduce myself...? **

**Anyways, I'm back again, with the new chapter... Old news. You knew that.**

**I think it's worth mentioning that this will probably be the darkest chapter yet, although I could be wrong about that... Anyways, there will be a few disturbing things in this chapter, so be warned. Then again... Does this count as horror, yet? I really have no idea what the genre of this is.**

**I will finally be quiet now.**

* * *

Chapter Seven:

Estonia wanted to stop himself from ever feeling again. It hurt too much, this business of caring about other people.

_"There was something safe about only caring about myself… Then, I didn't have to help the others, and as long as I could save myself, I wouldn't be hurt at all."_

He was sitting with his back to the sofa, waiting for Latvia to wake up. It was morning now, and Ukraine and Belarus were still asleep on the other side of the room. Estonia, however, was far from asleep, even now, in the early hours just after dawn.

"E-Estonia?" said a quiet voice behind him, "Am I alive?"

"Lati…" Estonia whispered. Then, suddenly, he lost all control of his emotions.

"You're an idiot!" Estonia exploded, turning to face Latvia. The younger boy was staring at him, his violet eyes wide, "Why did you let Russia hurt you?"

"I t-thought m-maybe I could help…" Latvia said, "I didn't actually manage to… But it's okay… It doesn't hurt too much."

Estonia sighed, turning back to lean against the couch again.

"He killed you, Raivis," he said quietly, "You were _dead_."

"Well, that's probably good," Latvia said, sounding extremely upbeat considering the circumstances, "That way I got better faster!"

"I'm supposed to protect you," Estonia said, "I…I'm older… So…"

"But you can't protect me," Latvia said, "Because I already know everything that happened, and the truth is a little scary. And you also can't protect me because… I want you to be happy and safe, which you can't be if you're saving me."

"And I'll be happy watching you _die_ over and over?" Estonia asked.

"No…" Latvia said, "I guess not. But… I just want to protect you, because maybe even if I die, you can still smile?"

"I can't smile if I know you're taking my beating for me," Estonia said, "It's me Russia wants revenge on, remember?"

"But when he hurt you, you got really crazy," Latvia said, "And that was scary. You wouldn't smile, except… Except that one time, when you did smile… While you were slicing your own arm apart. And it was really scary, Estonia, and I don't…"

"Latvia," Estonia said, "Forget about it. It's over. It's not going to happen again."

"But you won't forget it, so how could I?" Latvia asked.

There was a long pause, and then, suddenly, the sofa squeaked in protest as Latvia bounced off of it.

"Hey, Estonia, I just got an idea!" he chirped, grinning.

"Go back to bed," Estonia said, "You need to rest."

"No, seriously!" Latvia said, "I know a way to forget for a little bit!"

Estonia considered this information, which seemed rather incredible under the circumstances.

"How?"

"Follow me!" Latvia said, grabbing Estonia's hand. Intrigued, the blonde Baltic followed his younger friend into the kitchen, where Latvia began rummaging through the cupboards.

"I'm not exactly sure where it is," Latvia said, "But it's probably in a high place, since Mr. Russia knows I sometimes take it… He moves it a lot."

"What _is_ it?" Estonia asked, watching Latvia climb onto the counter to look in the higher cupboards.

"This!" Latvia said with a grin. The blonde boy hopped down from the counter, clutching a large bottle in one hand.

"We need those little glasses," Latvia announced, "Where are they?"

"We're going to drink Russia's vodka?" Estonia asked, "Latvia…"

"It helps," Latvia said, "Come on, Estonia… Just…try a little?"

Estonia sighed. As much as he wanted to pretend he disapproved of the idea of getting drunk, if it would let him forget the current situation, he was willing to try it.

"Fine," he said, reaching into a cupboard and pulling out two of Latvia's 'little glasses', "But we'll only drink a little."

* * *

Russia woke before Lithuania that morning, for the first time in their shared habitation of his bedroom. The brunet Baltic was still asleep, curled up as far away from Russia as possible.

"I was scaring you…?" Russia said absently, stroking the sleeping nation's hair, "It is much of the strangeness… I was not trying to scare you, my little _Litva_. But…it is seeming that whenever I am trying not to be scary, I am."

He stayed there for a while, stroking Lithuania's hair and talking softly to the Baltic nation, who did not show any signs of waking. After some time, however, Russia noticed that Lithuania was mumbling something in his sleep.

"What are you saying, silly _Litva_?" Russia asked.

"Scared…" Lithuania murmured, "Want to go home… Want to be safe…"

"You will be safe, as long as you are staying with me," Russia informed him. It appeared that this information had gotten through to Lithuania, as his eyes snapped open, wide and frightened.

"W-what did I s-say?" Lithuania whispered.

"You were saying that you would be wanting safety," Russia said, "And you have it."

He smiled, but Lithuania did not return the gesture. The brunet Baltic moaned quietly, and retreated under the blanket, to Russia's dismay.

"_Litva_?" Russia asked, "You are being okay?"

"Ivan, please leave me alone," Lithuania said, "My whole body hurts right now..."

"Then you should be doing something about that," Russia said.

"It's not my fault that I spent the greater part of yesterday half-conscious on the floor," Lithuania said softly, "Or maybe it is. Maybe everything is my fault. Is it, Mr. Russia? Am I that bad?"

"_Nyet, Litva_," Russia said, "You are not having much of the badness, just the silliness and stubbornness."

"If I wasn't bad, I wouldn't get hurt, right?" Lithuania said, "So… I must be…"

"What is being wrong with you?" Russia asked, "You are acting different, _Litva_… It is a little bit scary. Can I… Can I be helping you?"

* * *

Lithuania heard Russia's words, but he didn't react, didn't move.

_"He says he wants to help me… But every other time he tried to help, he only hurt me… So why would it be any different if I asked for his help now?"_

"No, Ivan…" he said, very, very softly, "You can't help. No one can help."

"Why not?" Russia asked, "You are always trying to be helping everyone when they are not needing help… So why now, when you are acting strangely and seem to be needing something, will you not help yourself?"

"You w-won't let me h-help myself," Lithuania said, "Please, don't make me talk anymore."

"You used to like talking to me," Russia said, and a moment later, Lithuania felt a large hand on his shoulder, which Russia had somehow located under the blankets.

"What happened, little _Litva_?" Russia asked, "What is making you so much different?"

Lithuania whimpered, shaking his head, although in some rational part of his mind, he knew that Russia probably couldn't tell he was denying his wish.

"Toris, if you are not telling me what is wrong, I cannot be helping!" Russia snapped.

_"When he calls me Toris, he is _serious_… Serious Russia is a scary Russia… I sound like Latvia… He hurt Latvia… Why…?"_

"_Litva_! Are you listening?"

Russia was pulling the blankets off of Lithuania, and he struggled, trying to keep the last illusion of safety he still possessed. And when Russia finally won, pulling the blankets off and throwing them on the floor, Lithuania was left shivering in the cold of Russia's room, staring wide-eyed at his obviously frustrated captor.

"You will now be telling me about this oddness that is your behavior," Russia commanded, "Speak."

"I'm fine!" Lithuania moaned, "I'm fine, so you don't need to worry about me!"

"And you expect me to not lie to you," Russia said, "When you are lying to me."

"I'm sorry," Lithuania whispered, "Please don't hurt me."

"Oh, you silly little one," Russia sighed, "I will only hurt you when you are misbehaving."

"You're hurting me now," Lithuania said, starting to feel desperate again, "You're hurting me, Ivan!"

"I am not even touching you," Russia informed him.

"There's another kind of hurt," Lithuania said, "The kind you felt when we all left you alone. You know that kind of pain, right?"

"Da," Russia said, "I know that pain. But, _Litva_… You are not alone."

"And of course, a psychopathic, manipulative person is wonderful company!" Lithuania blurted.

It was then that he decided that he was losing his mind. Whatever had possessed him to say such a thing to Russia was clearly not related to his sanity.

He whimpered quietly, feeling himself begin to shake.

"Lithuania," Russia hissed, "I would be asking you to take that back."

He shook his head.

"You told me not to lie to you."

There was a long, painful silence, and then, to Lithuania's surprise, Russia got up and went over to the closet. The brunet Baltic watched him, eyes wide.

_"Maybe he won't hurt me… Please, just once, let him not hurt me…"_

And then Russia came out of the closet, carrying the handcuffs and what looked to Lithuania like one of Belarus's knives.

"_Litva_," Russia said, "Did you know that if a nation loses a body part… Your fingers, for instance… Did you know that if someone chops them off, they will grow back?"

_"He's going to… No, no, he won't do that… People don't…"_

But then, normal people didn't do anything that Russia did.

"Come here," Russia said, and Lithuania had no choice but to comply.

_"Maybe if I go quietly, he'll change his mind…"_

"You will need to be very still for this," Russia said, "Come over here, and sit down."

Lithuania followed Russia's orders, and ended up sitting at the larger nation's desk. However, he kept his hands under the table, as if that could make them invisible.

Russia pulled a second chair over, and sat down also, laying the knife on the table.

"Give me your hands, _Litva_," he said, his voice dangerously low.

"Russia, no!" Lithuania whimpered, "I'm sorry…"

"Hands, now!" Russia snapped.

"No!" Lithuania screamed, "I won't! You can't do that to me!"

He leapt to his feet, intending to run away, but his body still ached from the beating he had received the day before, and he didn't get far before Russia was upon him. The larger nation grabbed a fistful of Lithuania's hair, and literally dragged him back, although this time, the Baltic nation did not go quietly.

"You will be staying still," Russia snarled, "Or I will tie you up!"

Panic had overridden every emotion Lithuania had once possessed, and the only thing he could think about was getting out of there, away from the insanity that held him prisoner. He struggled, pleading with Russia, and eventually, he was tied to a chair, his feet secured so that he could not kick, and his hands were forced onto the table, where they were secured by the handcuffs.

"Now, you cannot be running away," Russia said.

"No! No!" Lithuania sobbed. He was far past rational thought, and all he knew was that he wanted to escape from this, that he needed to run away, to escape.

"Don't hurt me…" he pleaded, staring up at Russia, who merely shook his head.

"Little one, you are needing to learn some of the sensibleness," Russia said, "This is to be…"

"No more helping!" Lithuania shrieked, "No more! I don't want your help! I want to go home! I want to see Belarus and Estonia and Latvia and Ukraine, and I want to go home!"

Russia slapped him in the face, and he lowered his head, sobbing.

Then, a moment later, he felt something cold and sharp press against his finger, the smallest on his right hand, and suddenly, he was screaming and struggling and begging again, but there was nothing he could do, and Russia kept pressing the knife down harder. The other nation's enormous strength was serving him well, now, and he kept on sawing at Lithuania's finger as the brunet boy cried and begged, using every word he knew to beg for mercy.

"No! Don't! Russia, please! Forgive me, I'm sorry! Please don't do this!"

The pain became more intense, and then Lithuania was staring down at half of his finger, bloodied and severed, lying on the tabletop.

He screamed, louder than before, not just because of the pain but because of how ludicrous and horrible this whole situation was. This shouldn't be happening, not to him, not when he had only tried to help…

_"Maybe Russia never needed help. Maybe… Was I always wrong to interfere? Do I deserve this for misbehaving all the time?"_

Russia moved the knife, down to the joint where Lithuania's finger connected with his hand, and he realized that it was going to happen again, that all that pain was going to continue.

"No!" he shouted. He couldn't remember how many times he had screamed that word today, how obvious it was how far he had fallen. Gone was his cheerful exterior, gone was the resolve to take the pain for the others. All he wanted was to escape, to be safe, to have someone there that he could touch besides the cold, insane Russian who held him captive.

"_Atleisk man_!" he screamed, feeling the knife beginning to press down on his finger.

And then, probably angry at him for failing to speak in Russian, instead of simply pressing down on one of his fingers, Russia began sawing forcefully at Lithuania's hand.

Lithuania could no longer form completely coherent sentences in his native tongue, let alone in Russian, and although he knew he was making Russia angrier, he rambled on hysterically in Lithuanian when he could form sentences, and when it hurt too much to speak, he simply screamed.

But there was one word that he did not translate into Lithuanian, and it was the one non-Lithuanian word that would likely make Russia angry.

"Natalya!"

He still remembered, somehow, that he must not call for Estonia and Latvia, and so Belarus was his only hope. He screamed for her to help him, to save him, but there was no reply.

"You would be calling for my sister," Russia hissed, "She will not come. She cannot hear you. Now, little Toris… Now you are like me, da? You are alone."

And he knew, somehow, that Russia was right, that he was truly alone, with no one to help him.

Lithuania looked down at his bloodied, mangled hand, and discovered that he had lost exactly two and a half fingers. It seemed as if the pain had been far more than he should have felt from that.

"That will be enough for now," Russia said, "I am thinking that you have learned your lesson."

* * *

Waking up and discovering that three people had mysteriously disappeared and left her alone was one of the most disturbing things Ukraine had ever experienced. It was most definitely not the most disturbing, but it came fairly close.

_"I understand Estonia's fear now…" _The girl reflected as she pulled the blankets off and went to look for the others, _"This is a bit unnerving."_

However, when she reached the kitchen, she discovered Belarus standing in the doorway, apparently watching something inside.

"What's going on?" Ukraine asked.

"Look at this," Belarus said, sounding completely disgusted, "It is nine in the morning and these _idiots_ have gone and done _this_!"

"What?!" Ukraine asked, "Belarus, I don't…"

Her expression fierce and angry, Belarus gestured at the kitchen table, and, for the first time, Ukraine noticed Estonia and Latvia.

Estonia appeared to be asleep, his head resting on the kitchen table, while Latvia was currently drinking straight from what looked to Ukraine like a bottle of vodka.

"They're drunk," Belarus said, "Or, at least, Latvia is."

"Well then, we should take that away from him," Ukraine said.

"I would not recommend…" Belarus started, but Ukraine ignored her.

"It's only Latvia," she said, "He can't be _that _unpredictable, even drunk."

She marched into the kitchen, and at that moment, Latvia noticed her. The tiny boy grinned in an almost frightening manner.

"Whash goin' on?" Latvia slurred.

"I need that vodka," Ukraine said, "May I please have it?"

"But me wanta keep it…" Latvia protested.

"You need to go back to bed," Belarus informed him from the doorway, "And stay there until you're sober."

"Wanta drink more," Latvia said, "You can 'ave some if ya want…"

Ukraine glanced over at Belarus.

"How do we get that away from him?" she mouthed.

"Grab it," Belarus said, "Grab it and run."

Ukraine decided that this was a fairly concrete strategy, and so, she marched over and took the bottle out of Latvia's hand.

"One would think you wouldn't be able to hold that much alcohol," she said, and smashed the bottle on the floor.

"Whatcha do that for?" Latvia asked, looking as if he were about to cry, "Me wanta drink it…"

"You don't need to drink anything," Belarus said from behind Ukraine, "Come on, Latvia. You're going to lie down."

"No wanna…" Latvia mumbled, but, somehow, Belarus managed to shepherd the tiny boy out of the room, leaving Ukraine alone with the unconscious Estonia.

"I really thought you were smarter than this," Ukraine said, sitting down in the chair next to Estonia.

Of course, there was no reply.

"Oh, Estonia…" Ukraine sighed, stroking the boy's hair, "Don't you see? We're here for you, so don't do this again… Okay?"

* * *

**I...told you it was going to be disturbing, right? I think this chapter might very well mark the point of no return for Lithuania... Well, maybe not the point of no return, but the point of...something bad, anyways. *feels extremely guilty* **

**And the regenerating body parts idea may or may not be the result of me binge watching half of Tokyo Ghoul last week. That is all I have to say on the subject.**

**Translations: **

**Nyet (Russian)- No**

**Atleisk man (Lithuanian)- Forgive me**

**Note on the translations: I am not one hundred percent sure on the correctness of these, although I'm trying my best to check as many sources as possible in order to get them right. So, if anyone happens to speak any of the languages used here and throughout my stories, and the translations are wrong, please help me out! :)**

**Also, I fail at writing drunk characters. Especially Latvia. So, yeah. That's all I need to say, I think. **


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight:

Lithuania barely remembered what had happened. He only remembered the screaming, the fear, Russia trying to quiet him as he rambled hysterically, most likely in multiple languages.

Now, he was lying still, quiet, in Russia's bed, staring up at the ceiling through wide, teary eyes.

_"I didn't think he would do something that malicious…" _Lithuania thought, _"I thought I could help, not make things worse…"_

Cautiously, Lithuania sat up, looking around fearfully. Russia's room was devoid of life, save for himself.

"Where did you go, Ivan?" Lithuania said quietly, "I thought you didn't want to be left alone… But you left me."

Instantly, he wondered what had driven him to say such a thing, to wish for Russia's company rather than loneliness.

_"If he isn't here, he can't hurt me."_

But he knew, without a shadow of doubt, that Russia would come back, and when he did, he would probably torture Lithuania again. And Lithuania feared that torture more than ever before.

_"I don't want this… I don't want to be hurt anymore… I would rather die…"_

He looked around, and, surprisingly, saw that there was a gun on the table. It lay there, unattended, and perhaps for the first time, Lithuania contemplated suicide.

_"No. It won't solve anything. No matter how many bullets you put in your brain, Russia will revive you, and when that happens, he will hurt you again."_

But, despite the thoughts that were his only lifeline, Lithuania soon found himself holding the gun in his uninjured hand. His right hand was not bandaged, nor had his fingers grown back, but he knew-or, at least, hoped-that they would.

_"I could die. I could… Maybe? If I shot myself enough times, could I not come back…? Would it be okay? Can I choose what I want, instead of what will be best for the group? Only once, can I make a choice?"_

Slowly, shaking, Lithuania lifted the gun to his head.

_"Just to rest for a little while… I can… I can tell Russia… I was bored, so I was playing Russian roulette… With myself… And I…lost. Yes, I can tell him I lost the game, and it will be okay!"_

"It's not okay…" Lithuania whispered aloud, "I can't do that. I… They need me, don't they? I…I have to take the beating for everyone… I can't die, even though I want to…"

But it seemed as if it would be so, so easy to just pull the trigger. And if he could lodge the bullet in his brain, instead of it going all the way through… Then not even Russia would be able to get it out without a surgeon to help.

And maybe, just maybe, the others didn't need him to take their beating. Maybe it would be okay if he died, and left the way open for them to escape without him.

"I could just pull the trigger…" Lithuania whispered, his hand shaking, even as he tried to hold the gun steady.

* * *

Meanwhile, oblivious to the events currently being played out in his own bedroom, Russia was wandering the upper hallways of his mansion, deep in thought.

"Earlier," he mumbled thoughtfully, "I was feeling bad about hurting _Litva_. But then, without any warning, I would be hurting him again… Why? Why would my feelings be changing with so much of the quickness?"

He glanced around the empty halls, hoping for an answer, but there was none.

"I hurt _Litva_…" Russia repeated, "But… I am not wanting to hurt him, now. I…I am feeling sorry, but when I am angry, all sorry feelings go away…"

The large nation shivered.

"At least the sorry feelings are not so cold… Angry feelings… So cold… Is it being of the normalness? Is _anything_ of the normalness? Is…is there any normalness?"

He glanced up, and realized that his wanderings had led him back to his own room.

"Maybe I should be asking _Litva_…" Russia mumbled, "Maybe… Is he of the normalness? Is that why Belarus would be liking him, and protecting him? But if he is having normalness, why is he making me so angry…?"

Russia reached into his pocket, and, pulling out a large key, unlocked the door. However, when he pushed the door open, he saw none other than Lithuania doing something decidedly not ordinary. The brunet Baltic was facing away from him, and in his left hand, he held…

"_Litva_!" Russia gasped, "What business would you be having, pointing that at yourself?!"

Lithuania was holding a loaded gun, pointed at his own head.

* * *

Estonia woke up to the worst headache of his life. He also woke up with his head resting on Russia's kitchen table, which he was fairly certain was the strangest place he had ever fallen asleep.

"Ugh…" the blonde Baltic muttered, "Why does my head hurt so much…?"

"You sober up quickly," someone commented, "Normal people don't sober up in a matter of a couple hours after drinking that much."

"Was I ever not sober?" Estonia asked. The boy raised his head from the table, to find Ukraine glaring at him in what seemed to be a most uncharacteristic manner.

"You and Latvia were _drunk_!" Ukraine lectured, "I thought you were smart enough to know that alcohol is not the answer to your problems, Eduard!"

Estonia stared at what he assumed were the smashed remains of the vodka bottle, not wanting to meet Ukraine's eyes, dreading the disappointment he would see there there.

"I thought I was smart, too," he said quietly, "And look where that got us."

"It wasn't your fault," Ukraine said.

"Really?" Estonia asked, looking up at her, "Then why is it that you and Belarus were dragged into this? If I hadn't been so stupid, then…"

"Eduard…" Ukraine said, "We want to be here. We'd rather know the truth and fight for it, than believe a lie."

"Since when do you even know me well enough to call me Eduard?" Estonia said, very quietly, "Since when do you care what happens to us Baltics?"

He knew he had said the wrong thing, that it was nothing more than cruelty to say such a thing to Ukraine, of all people, but it came out before he could stop it.

Ukraine's eyes filled with tears, and Estonia almost apologized then and there. But then, he realized, he needed to know.

"I saw you," he said, his voice low, "When Russia attacked Latvia, and Lithuania wasn't there, so I had to protect him… I saw you watching. Why…?"

He paused, and when he spoke again, there was a desperate note in his voice.

"Why didn't you help me?"

As he had half-hoped she would, Ukraine burst into tears. For a moment, Estonia felt a strange satisfaction. Then, his anger took over again.

"Yekaterina, tell me!" Estonia snapped. The blonde Baltic leapt to his feet and, leaning over, put his hands on the girl's shoulders and shook her.

"Tell me why you wouldn't help!"

"I'm sorry!" Ukraine sobbed, "I should have helped! Please, Estonia, don't be mad at me! D-don't hurt me!"

"Don't hurt you?" Estonia echoed, "Ukraine, I…"

He looked down at her, and for the first time, he realized that he was digging his fingernails into the girl's shoulders.

Estonia backed away, startled.

"I'm sorry…" Ukraine repeated, staring at him, tears still streaming down her face.

"No, I'm sorry," Estonia said, looking away, "I… I shouldn't ask you such things when I know the answers already."

"You know…the answers…?"

"You were scared," Estonia said, "I… I was scared for a long time. And then… Then I snapped. But now I'm scared again, and I shouldn't get mad at you for feeling the same way."

He looked up at her, then, and to his shock, saw blood seeping through her shirt where he had gripped her shoulders.

"Did I do that…?" he asked, hearing his voice break, "Did I hurt you?"

"It's just a couple of scratches," Ukraine said, "Nothing bad, Estonia, and it's not really your fault…"

"I hurt you…" Estonia repeated, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry… And I'm sorry for threatening you and manipulating you, and then taking advantage of how kind you are, only to hurt you, and…"

His legs, already unsteady, chose that moment to give out, and he fell into a kneeling position. He was still so close to Ukraine, however, that his head ended up resting on her knees.

"Forgive me…" he whispered, "Or, better yet, forget me. Don't waste your time on me… I… I'm just like Russia, so…"

* * *

Ukraine forgot the pain of the scratches on her shoulders, forgot the horrible, terrifying situation they were in, hearing those words.

"You are not like him," she whispered, stroking Estonia's hair, "If you were, then you'd be torturing me, wouldn't you?"

"I'm not torturing you?" the blonde Baltic asked, "This isn't torture? Don't be a fool. I know better than anyone that psychological torture is just as bad-maybe worse-than physical torture. And I… I manipulated you, which Russia would do. I threatened you, which he always does. And now, you pity me… Which is something _Lithuania_ would do. And look where that got him. I don't want that to happen to you. I don't want to be a crazy tyrant like Russia, so I can't have anybody who would stay with me."

"But then you'll be all alone," Ukraine said, "And you're too scared of that to be all right without a friend."

"I don't need you!" Estonia snapped, raising his head to look at her, "I don't!"

"You won't go to Latvia," Ukraine said, "Belarus won't listen to you. Russia and Lithuania, you can't go to at present, for obvious reasons. So, if you don't want to be alone, that leaves me."

"If I'm alone, I won't hurt you…" Estonia began, his voice desperate.

Ukraine reached down and placed her finger over Estonia's lips, effectively quieting the boy.

"But you being alone would hurt me," she said, "Estonia, do you remember? Do you remember? We walked by the pond a few days ago, and it was pretty and frozen…"

"And it was the only time I've felt happy in…I don't know how long," Estonia murmured, "But I _can't_ feel happy. The last happiness I felt, besides that, was when I fantasized about murdering your brother. I am not normal. I can't be happy, because…"

"You can have happiness!" Ukraine insisted, "You can! You just have to believe that being happy isn't bad! Eduard, you have to have dreams, but not bloody ones. Instead of dreaming about killing Russia, dream that someone-I don't know who-will come and save us. Imagine Latvia being able to be a normal child, to grow up normally, and Lithuania and Belarus finally, finally getting to be together, and none of them being afraid."

"And where are you and I, in that dream?" Estonia asked.

"We're anywhere you want us to be," Ukraine said, "Where you and I go-where everyone goes-is your dream to dream. Dream it forever, Estonia, and someday, it will come true."

"I had dreams, once," Estonia said, "And a heavy hand grasping a metal pipe crushed them."

"Then don't let anyone crush them anymore," Ukraine whispered, leaning closer to him, "From now on, your dreams are your sanctuary. Please, Estonia… Don't give up on dreams coming true. As long as you can dream, you can have a little bit of happiness."

"Happiness?" Estonia said, "I… I'm afraid to be happy. When I was happy, Lithuania disappeared. And I'm starting to think… I'm starting to think he'll never come back."

* * *

Russia saw Lithuania freeze at the sound of his voice. Then, strangely, the brunet Baltic began to shake.

"_Litva_?" Russia asked, "Why are you doing that…?"

Lithuania whimpered softly, his voice barely audible. The boy's hand was shaking, but he still held the gun to his head.

"You will be putting that down before you do yourself some harm, da?" Russia asked.

"If I leave myself undefended, you'll hurt me," Lithuania whispered, "I don't want you to hurt me."

"I will not hurt you, little one," Russia said, "Now put down my gun."

Lithuania hesitated, turning to stare at Russia. In his deep, green eyes, Russia saw pain, fear, and none of the cheerful warmth he was used to.

"You shot me with this same gun, didn't you?" Lithuania asked, his voice quiet and sad.

"D-da," Russia said. He was starting to feel nervous. The last time one of his Baltics had ended up in possession of a gun, he had been shot through the shoulder, which was an experience he did _not _want to repeat.

"Would it be okay with you if I shot myself, one more time?" Lithuania asked.

"_Nyet_!" Russia snapped, "It would not be okay for you to be shooting yourself! Why… Why would you even be wanting to…?"

"I thought you wanted me to die," Lithuania said sadly, "You've killed me often enough. If I stayed dead, Russia… Would you be happy then? Would everyone be happy then, if I were only gone?"

"No one would be happy if you died…" Russia said, "And if you died, I'd be all alone."

"What if I want to die?" Lithuania said, "What if just once, I do what I want, instead of helping everyone else?"

"Then you would not be acting like you always do," Russia said, "And it would be scaring me, little _Litva_, if you would be killing yourself, when you are always so determined to fight."

"For so long, I've tried to help everyone, and make them happy," Lithuania said, "So I wonder… Could it be my turn to decide what I want? Can I… Can I just be happy once?"

"If you were dead," Russia said, "You would not be much of anything, and definitely not of the happiness."

Lithuania sighed.

"Just for once, couldn't you be irrational when I need you to be?" he asked.

Then, to Russia's immense relief, Lithuania dropped the gun.

* * *

**Today, the author's note is at the end instead of the beginning!**

**Well... This has been a chapter... **

**Hopefully I did okay writing the scenes with Ukraine... I tend to fail badly at writing her, especially in a serious situation. **

**I...have nothing else to say here...**

**See you guys next time! **


	10. Chapter 9

**Hey, everyone! I'm alive! **

**Sorry for not updating on Monday- stuff happened and I never got to it. But I am back, and tomorrow, I plan to update "Written in Blood" as well. :) **

**I hope you enjoy the chapter, and my apologies again for the extra-long wait! **

* * *

Chapter Nine:

Lithuania could only stand still, waiting for the inevitable punishment. Russia had caught him about to try and end his life, which he was certain was a forbidden action. Punishment had to come.

But, to his surprise, it didn't. As he stood there, expect Russia to hit him, or worse, pull out his pipe, the large nation merely walked over, weaponless and looking extremely disturbed.

"Why would you be wanting to die, _Litva_?"

Lithuania shook his head, vowing to keep silent or die.

"I'm s-sorry… P-please forgive me…"

"I… I am not angry," Russia said, "I am just having the confusion. You used to be happy person, so why…?"

"Please, don't ask me questions I don't know how to answer," Lithuania pleaded, "I can't answer. I'm afraid…"

"I will not hurt you," Russia said.

"I'm sorry," Lithuania repeated, "I'm so sorry, but I can't believe you won't…"

"Have I been that bad?" Russia asked, and for a moment, Lithuania managed to remember that he really was just a child inside, despite his height and strength. And then, for the moment, he managed to forgive Russia, although he doubted the forgiveness would last, so terrible had the confusion in his mind become. He no longer knew when his thoughts would agree with what they had said a moment before.

"No, Ivan," Lithuania said, "I think… I think I'm the one who's been bad. Maybe it wasn't my fault, maybe I'm not bad, really, but… I can't quite remember why I think I wasn't the one to blame."

"You need rest, little one," Russia said, "Go now and sleep. You are too often being knocked out, which is not making for much of the peaceful rest."

And, afraid of what would happen if he did not, Lithuania obeyed, going to curl up, shivering, on Russia's bed.

"You can use the blankets," Russia said, tucking them around him, "Hush, _Litva_… Be sleeping now. I will not be hurting you now, if you will be going to sleep peacefully."

Lithuania couldn't figure out whether or not he trusted Russia to keep his promise or not. But he did know one thing.

_"He didn't hurt me. Just this once, he didn't hurt me… Maybe… Maybe things will get better. Maybe I could stay here, and it would be okay… No. No! I have to go back… I want to escape… I need to escape… If I don't, I'll die here, alone except for Russia. And somehow… Having him around makes me feel even more alone."_

* * *

Hours after he had fallen asleep, Latvia finally awoke, alone, to stare up at the ceiling and think. The small nation had a terrible headache, and a great deal of things on his mind.

_"I really shouldn't have gotten Estonia to get drunk with me," _he thought, _"I didn't drink as much as quickly as he did, and I guess I don't get drunk as easy as him, which is weird… Anyways. I shouldn't have listened to him when he was drunk. He's not happy at all then, he's just depressed. I wonder if he remembers what he told me, while he was drunk and I was still mostly sober…?"_

The small nation sighed.

_"I guess Miss Belarus or somebody made me go to bed… And now I'm not drunk anymore. But I still remember that drinking only made Estonia sadder. I wanted him to be happy, even if it was only for a little bit."_

Latvia subconsciously began picking at the half-healed cuts on his hands. There were several of them now, due to the fact that they had been nearly crushed the day before, a courtesy extended to him by Russia and a metal pipe.

_"I don't think I should talk to Estonia about scary things anymore," _the boy decided, _"It will just make him sadder if he realizes I really did get hurt bad. And… I wonder if anybody else has nightmares? I didn't usually have them before, but while I was asleep, I had some scary dreams… Maybe it was the vodka. I hope it was. I'm not gonna sleep good ever again if it wasn't the vodka's fault I had all those dreams…"_

His head was throbbing, now, and Latvia curled up under the blankets again, his hands pressed against his forehead in an attempt to stop his head from aching. Vaguely, he noticed blood dripping from the cuts on his hands onto his maroon uniform, but he didn't care.

_"I bet if me and Estonia hadn't gotten drunk, we would be going to find Lithuania now… That was really stupid. Can't be strong, can't be smart, can't even keep away from Russia's vodka when I really, really need to. I guess that's why they don't let me talk about adult things with them. I guess I would just mess it all up, like I did now… Ooh, my head hurts…"_

There was blood on his face, now, blood from the cuts on his hands that he had accidentally reopened. And now, his hands hurt again.

Latvia whimpered softly.

_"Stupid Raivis… Now look what you did… You hurt yourself..."_

* * *

Belarus watched from the kitchen doorway, wondering how long it would be before Ukraine noticed her. The blonde girl was sitting on the floor, appearing afraid to move, for fear of waking Estonia, who was asleep, his head resting on Ukraine's knees. It looked like an extremely uncomfortable position to Belarus, who hated having to tuck her legs underneath her for any amount of time, but Ukraine didn't seem to mind.

"He's so vulnerable," Ukraine said quietly.

The blonde girl glanced over at Belarus, and there were tears in her blue eyes, something that had become quite familiar, and yet, was still upsetting to Belarus. Even the normally stoic girl could not help but feel disturbed by how sad her once-cheerful sister looked, especially as she did not understand the cause of Ukraine's sadness.

"Why won't he believe that we care?"

"Probably because I _don't _care," Belarus said, "This is as much his fault as Russia's."

"Stop blaming them!" Ukraine said, her voice more a hiss than a simple whisper, "If they're to blame, then so we all are!"

"How so?" Belarus snapped, "I don't see how you, Lithuania, Latvia, and I are in any way responsible for this!"

"We knew what was happening," Ukraine said, "Or, at least, we should have known. But instead of paying attention to what was right in front of us, we ignored it, because it hurt to think about Russia doing such terrible things to anyone, let alone these children! But we should have known."

Belarus sighed, looking down.

"Yes," she said quietly, "We should have."

"And we would be gone from here now," Ukraine said quietly, "If your Lithuania didn't care too much."

Belarus stiffened.

"You blame him?"

"No," Ukraine said, "If… If I was brave… Then I would have done the same thing. I just… I just think that you're overestimating him. He's a good man-too good… But he has flaws, and caring too much could be fatal for him."

"We'll save him!" Belarus insisted, "If we can all get together, we can form a plan…"

"And we'll try," Ukraine said, "But, Natalya… It's been a few days, and I wonder… How far gone will Lithuania be, when we finally get to him?"

"He'll be all right," Belarus said, "He will!"

"I want to believe it," Ukraine said, looking down at the sleeping Estonia, "But… They've all been hurt too much. And a never-ending cycle of hurt, day in and day out, never able to escape even for a moment… It could kill even Lithuania."

"Then we have to move quickly," Belarus said, but Ukraine cut her off.

"Natalya. Please. You have to accept what the rest of us know already. Even if we save him, even if he turns out to be perfectly all right, Lithuania will get into another situation like this. It's just the way he is, the way he'll always be. And someday… Someday, he won't walk out of there all right…"

"I'll protect him…"

Ukraine sighed.

"And you call me the idealist? Oh, Belarus… Lithuania doesn't want us to protect him. Yes, we will save him, if we can… But just because we save him, it doesn't mean he'll be okay. Look…look at Estonia… He's so far gone, and…"

"Lithuania is nothing like that selfish, idiotic child!" Belarus snapped, louder than she had meant to.

"So he isn't," a quiet voice agreed, "If he were like me, we'd have escaped by now. Because selfish people don't think about the ones they'd be abandoning by running away."

Estonia sat up, his glasses skewed, his hair slightly rumpled, and his eyes… His eyes made even Belarus feel a bit guilty about what she had said.

"Lithuania is a far better person than I will ever be," Estonia said, "I'm glad you agree, Belarus. Yekaterina doesn't seem to share the sentiment that I'm absolutely _worthless_, so I'm glad someone agrees."

Shakily, the blonde boy stood up, his fists tightly clenched.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," he said, avoiding eye contact with Ukraine, who was staring at him pleadingly, "I'll be going now. Make your plan without me, if you want to. I'm sorry for causing all this trouble, so I won't interfere anymore. I'm sorry. Hate me if you wish. But I'm done. I can't live with this anymore. I'm sorry."

Estonia marched past Belarus, who said nothing, merely glared after him.

"Eduard!" Ukraine squeaked. The blonde girl leapt up, and then, to Belarus's shock, she marched over and slapped her younger sister in the face.

It hurt more than Belarus had expected, not just because she had been slapped, but because it was Ukraine who had slapped her.

"Why?" Belarus said quietly, "Why did you hit me like that, Ukraine?"

"If he dies," Ukraine said, her voice both angry and sad, "If he hurts himself because of you, I hope you learn that Lithuania isn't the only person on earth worth saving… Oh, Natalya… I hope you learn _something_ from all of this…"

And with that, Ukraine marched off, crying, leaving Belarus staring blankly after her.

"Do you…love him?" Belarus asked, although she knew Ukraine was out of earshot, "Do you love _Estonia_?"

* * *

Estonia's footsteps, for once, led him to exactly where he wanted to go. He was standing in his bedroom, holding the knife that he had left, abandoned in the corner, several days before.

The blonde Baltic glanced down at his arm. Under his jacket, which concealed all injuries so well that he was certain Russia had given it to him simply for that purpose, there were barely healed scars.

"I hurt Latvia with this," he said, not really talking to himself, or anyone at all, "I hurt _myself_ with this. I could do it again. I could go out in the snow and find somewhere where it's really deep. It would bury me, and then… Then no one would know."

"And you'll be unhappy forever," said someone behind him.

Estonia froze, glaring at the knife in his hand.

"Ukraine," he hissed, "Leave me alone."

"Belarus is being stupid, saying those things to you," Ukraine said, "And you're being stupid too! Estonia, we need you! You're smart; you can figure out how to leave, once we save Lithuania. But you can't do that, if you're…"

"Who said I was going to kill myself?" Estonia asked, turning to face the girl.

"You did," Ukraine said, "Just a minute ago."

"I've been hurt so many times…" Estonia murmured, "I can't remember… How do I not hurt people? All I can remember anymore is pain… People hurt me, then I hurt others… I can't remember how to love…"

"Then let us help you," Ukraine said.

"No one can help," Estonia said, "How could you even try? You don't have any idea what it feels like to be hurt by someone you care about. That's the worst thing, you know. Even if it was Russia who beat me, over and over, do you know what I remember the most?"

Ukraine hesitated, then slowly shook her head.

"I remember Lithuania stabbing me in the heart, and it _hurt_," Estonia said. "Even though I know he did it to save himself, and Russia, it still hurts… I know he had the best of intentions, but… You don't have any idea what it's like to be hurt by someone you care about, someone you…you loved. In a brotherly sense, naturally, but still… I cared about what happened to him. I really did. And then… It felt like betrayal."

"Estonia…" Ukraine said, very quietly, "Look at me. You really believe that I haven't been hurt by someone I care about?"

"Not physically," Estonia said.

Wordlessly, Ukraine reached over and pushed up the right sleeve of her shirt. Then, she held her arm out to Estonia. For a moment, the blonde Baltic was confused. Then, he noticed a long, deep scar running up Ukraine's arm.

"What did that?" Estonia said quietly.

"R-Russia did," Ukraine said, "You saw me, the first time you stood up to him, didn't you? You knew I was watching. Well… After that… I confronted him. It took several tries before I got proof that what I had seen wasn't a onetime thing… But it wasn't the kind of proof I wanted, not at all."

"What did he do to you?" Estonia said, his voice sounding threatening even to himself.

"H-he cut my arm open," Ukraine said, "All the way down. The scar goes up to my shoulder. I… I don't think I died… Could I even die from that? But I did pass out, after I made it back to my room. I didn't want Belarus to know… But she found out, eventually. She found about everything, in the end."

"And you didn't tell me," Estonia said, "You don't think this changes anything?"

"It changes everything," Ukraine said sadly, "Because I know what you'll do, Eduard. You'll try to protect me, now that you've realized I'm not immune to punishment."

"Exactly," Estonia said, "And you had better not try and stop me."

"Please…" Ukraine said, "Don't try to be the hero."

"What am I, America?" Estonia asked. Then, he sighed.

"But if I can't protect you, then what can I do? Do you want me to sit quietly by and watch you get hurt?"

"Before you can protect anyone, you have to get better," Ukraine said.

Estonia started to protest, but she cut him off, hurrying on.

"I know you're scared that someone will get hurt if you do nothing. I feel the same. So, we can all look after each other, but we can't be divided. Divided… Look what's happened to us, Eduard. We're all falling apart. We have to be united, like we were the day we stood up to Russia."

"Lithuania and Belarus united us then," Estonia said, "And Lithuania isn't here."

"Then you and I," Ukraine said, "You and I will take their places. You can handle Latvia… Not that he needs much handling, but you know what I mean. And I will try to reason with Belarus."

"And then what?" Estonia asked, "You said I have to get better. But I refuse to ask Latvia for help. He's too young and he's already in enough trouble. Belarus apparently hates me…"

* * *

Ukraine waited for a moment, expecting Estonia to continue, to list the reasons why she couldn't help him, so she could argue. But to her surprise, he did not, merely trailing off into silence.

"Then what about me?" Ukraine asked, "Could I help?"

Estonia stared at her, obviously surprised.

"You?" the blonde Baltic echoed, "R-really?"

"Why not?" Ukraine asked.

"Well, I don't really know you very well…" Estonia said, looking down, "And… Why don't you hate me? I threatened to hurt you… I…"

"And so did Russia," Ukraine said, "But I still love him, too. He's my brother. And you're my friend… Maybe more than my friend. I couldn't stop loving anyone in my family, could I?"

"Family, huh?" Estonia asked, "We're family?"

"We could be," Ukraine said, "I know you probably don't like the thought of being in a family, after what happened here… But there are better families. If we get out of here, we can see…"

"Slow down," Estonia said, "Before you plan the entire future of everyone in this house… Let's just get out of here, Ukraine. Then we'll talk about families, and about me getting better. Lithuania is much more important than my mental health, right? So let's save him first."

Ukraine sighed.

_"These Baltics… Why do they always have to try to save everyone but themselves?"_

* * *

**OK, you can't honestly say I'm not horrible at writing Ukraine... *dies* She's harder to write than Belarus... Who is being a total jerk in this story. But, in Belarus' defense, she's acting that way because she wants to take action and things (mostly Estonia) keep getting in the way. **


	11. Chapter 10

**Updating a day late, because this week is already shaping up to spawn iNSaNiTY... And who knows when I'll update again with all craziness going on?**

**But I'll try my best to update on Friday! **

**This chapter is going to be a bit violent and a little disturbing... But it won't get anywhere close to as descriptive as chapter seven was... Although it may be more disturbing in some ways. You have been warned. **

* * *

Chapter Ten:

It was the next morning, Lithuania thought, when he woke yet again to find Russia gone. However, this time, something was radically different.

_"Russia has gone… And he has left the key in the lock!"_

The thought exploded in Lithuania's mind, startling him and filling him with the hope he thought he had lost.

_"I can get away."_

He didn't bother to think about the consequences if Russia caught him. If he could only get safely away, downstairs, then everything would be all right. He would be all right, and then they could all leave…

Unless the others had left without him, which they might have. He didn't think they would leave him, but it felt as if they might have. He hadn't heard from any of them since the day Russia had hurt Latvia.

His hand was on the doorknob, and the brunet Baltic could feel himself shaking, whether from fear of excitement, he could not tell.

_"I can run away now."_

He opened the door, and then, after freezing for a moment at an unknown sound, he was off, running down the hall as fast as he could possibly go.

It never occurred to Lithuania to be ready to turn back if he heard Russia coming. He was so caught up in the thought of escape, of getting away to safety, that he did not hear the telltale, heavy footsteps coming toward him.

It was only when he turned a corner and ran straight into Russia, that Lithuania remembered that his life and sanity were both at stake.

"I had been forgetting to lock the door…" Russia said absentmindedly. Then, he looked up, seeming to register Lithuania's presence.

"_Litva_…" Russia said, a dangerous edge in his voice, "What would you be doing at this time?"

Lithuania stepped back, his breath coming in short, frightened gasps.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm very sorry…"

"You will be coming back to my room," Russia said, "Now."

"I d-don't want to!" Lithuania said, "I want t-to go downstairs, and s-so I will!"

This comment was obviously not well received, and the brunet boy was instantly met with a slap in the face.

"I will not tell you again, little Toris," Russia said.

"You'll h-hurt me no matter what!" Lithuania whimpered, "If I thought you would forgive me, I wouldn't fight! But you'll hurt me even if I'm quiet!"

He stood there, shaking, but unmoving, past caring what Russia would do. His fear was still there, still overwhelming, but there was also a kind of acceptance of the pain, of his punishment.

_"If I must die here, then let it be now…"_

* * *

Russia glared down at Lithuania, who seemed terrifyingly different from the boy he was used to. Gone was the pleading, the begging him to see Lithuania's version of sense, and gone, too, were the defiant, desperate speeches. There was merely a kind of acceptance there, but not the acceptance Russia had hoped for. He had hoped, that someday, Lithuania would come to terms with the fact that he, Russia, was the Baltics' superior, and therefore, they should obey him.

But instead of that, there was something that seemed to suggest that Lithuania had come to terms with the fact that he would be punished, no matter what. As if his only role in life was to serve as the rest of their family, no, as the rest of the world's… It seemed almost as if he felt that his only role in life was to serve as his friends' whipping boy.

And the warmth in his eyes, the warmth that reminded Russia of the sun's warmth, and of the sunflowers he so loved… That warmth had gone away, replaced by a dull-eyed, fearful stare.

For a moment, Russia found himself considering the idea of letting the boy go downstairs, to his friends, and he thought of letting them leave. But then, he shook it off.

_"No one will be going away! As long as _Litva _stays with me, the others will not go, so there is no reason for me to be letting him leave. In time, I will get the others back, too, but him I will keep forever."_

"Come with me, little one," Russia said quietly. He reached out to grab Lithuania's arm and pull him along, but the brunet boy shrank back, shivering.

"You will come back now, Toris!" Russia commanded.

The Baltic nation merely stared at him, eyes wide and frightened.

Russia reached out again, and, grabbing Lithuania by the collar, pulled him back down the hall toward his room.

"I'm sorry!" Lithuania wailed, struggling to loosen Russia's grip, "Please, let go! You're hurting me!"

"I would not be hurting you if you would be ceasing this foolishness," Russia said.

_"Why does his speaking sound as if he were little Latvia, instead of himself?"_

"I'm sorry!" Lithuania was screaming now, the same two words intermingled with other pleas, "Please don't hurt me, Mr. Russia!"

They reached Russia's room, and, growing tired of Lithuania's repeated cries, Russia hurled the smaller nation to the ground. There was an audible, painful crack as Lithuania's head struck the hard floor, and even Russia winced slightly.

Lithuania curled up on the floor, clutching at his head, hands tangled in his long hair. His body shook with sobs, as he begged for forgiveness in every way Russia had ever heard, and in some ways he had not.

"You are seeming to think that I would hurt you badly," Russia said, "Little _Litva_, I will not be punishing you too badly, this time. But there must be punishment for bad children, da?"

* * *

Lithuania's only thought was of somehow getting out of this situation, of pleading with anyone who happened to be within earshot to please, stop this, before Russia drove him out of his mind.

But there was no one there, and as Russia paused in his speech, Lithuania's shaking increased.

Belatedly, the brunet Baltic noticed that his fingers had reappeared, that he had two whole hands again. However, this thought was quickly driven from his mind by Russia's next words.

"Get up from there, and we will be getting this over with."

Lithuania shook his head, curling up tighter.

"_Litva_…" Russia's tone was both warning and angry, "Get up."

"No," Lithuania whispered, "I don't want to do as you say, so I won't. Go on, kill me… I'm not scared of dying. I'm only afraid of living."

Russia reached down, and, grabbing Lithuania by the shoulders, shook him.

"Get up, now!"

"No!" Lithuania wailed, "I don't want you to hurt me anymore! Kill me, right now, or leave me alone!"

"You will not be giving me the orders, _Litva_!" Russia snapped, striking him in the face again, "Do as I say!"

Lithuania whimpered softly, his face stinging from the repeated blows.

"Just kill me," he whispered, "I'm tired."

Russia had apparently grown tired of the Lithuanian boy's repeated refusals to comply with his wishes, as he literally dragged him over to the other side of the room, where he forced Lithuania to kneel.

The brunet Baltic struggled, frightened and wanting more than anything else to feel anything besides pain and the touch of Russia's icy-cold fingers. But there was nothing else, only his fear, which threatened to overwhelm him.

"In past times, I would have been asking you to stay still, and you would have done it," Russia said, "But now, I am doubting your ability to do even this simple thing. Take off your shirt, _Litva_."

"I'm sorry!" Lithuania wailed, "Please, _please_ forgive me! Or…or kill me now… Please…"

"Shirt, off, now," Russia said, and, sobbing, Lithuania had no choice but to obey.

Russia opened the closet door, and, due to Lithuania's close proximity to the aforementioned door, nearly hit him in the face with it.

A moment later, the Russian had pulled out the now-familiar handcuffs, which he secured around Lithuania's wrists.

"Those should keep you from leaving with much quickness," Russia said.

Lithuania shivered, but whether from fear or from the coldness of Russia's bedroom, he did not know.

Futilely, he rattled the cuffs around his wrists, trying to free himself.

He almost didn't notice Russia reach inside his jacket for his pipe, but when the weapon came out, Lithuania froze, eyes widening.

"No, Russia, please don't!" he whispered, tears running down his face, "I'm sorry."

"It is much of the strangeness that you beg for mercy before the punishment has even been beginning," Russia said. Then, he brought the pipe down on Lithuania's back.

Something cracked, and Lithuania screamed.

* * *

Finally, after so long, they were going to take action. Or, at least, they were going to try.

Belarus looked around at the other three nations as they sat in a loose circle around the room that she had begun to think of as theirs. Not a part of Russia's house-just their room.

Ukraine and Estonia were sitting close together, Estonia looking as if he wanted to push the girl away, but at the same time, seeming as if he wanted her to stay. Ukraine was leaning on him slightly, and now that she was no longer making an effort to seem completely cheerful, Belarus could see how tired her sister seemed.

_"She used to act so silly… But now, suddenly, she seems older… And more tired. I should have been more considerate… But Estonia really isn't being of any help. Even now, he seems to be oblivious to how worried Ukraine is."_

The girl glanced over at Latvia, who was curled up in a large chair, watching Estonia. He seemed all right, but his expression was grave. It was an expression much too grave for someone who seemed so young, even though he was not quite the child he seemed.

_"All the more reason to get out of here. Latvia deserves to regain his lost childhood."_

"Are we all ready to talk about this?" Belarus asked, as the others appeared to be waiting for something to happen.

There was a moment's hesitation, and then, Estonia nodded.

"We need to come up with some kind of plan," the blonde Baltic said, "But… I don't have any idea what to do."

"We could all go together to talk to Russia!" Latvia piped up.

Belarus turned to look at the small nation, and Ukraine and Estonia did the same.

"W-we managed to d-do something before, w-when we were all together," Latvia stammered, "M-maybe it would work again."

"Maybe it would," Estonia said thoughtfully, "We should have done that in the very beginning, shouldn't we?"

"Yes, we should!" Belarus said emphatically, "And now…"

The girl paused, smiling slightly.

"Now we've finally gone through all the stupid things we can possibly do to delay this much-needed action. Let's finally do something worthwhile, shall we?"

"My apologies for being an idiot," Estonia said, and although his tone was obviously meant to be sarcastic, his voice broke halfway through, and Belarus began to feel slightly guilty, looking at the broken boy who was the personification of Estonia, and realizing that he, like Latvia, was not yet an adult. And not even she, who was an adult, could cope with this, so how in the world could the poor, half-insane boy be expected to.

"I'm sorry too," Belarus said, "I was… I wasn't nice to you. At all."

"It's fine," Estonia said, looking down, "I deserve it."

"Eduard…" Ukraine said, "You don't deserve any of this. Really. None of us do, we just…"

"Yekaterina, don't," Estonia said, "I don't need you to tell me what I deserve. We're wasting time. Come on… Let's go find Lithuania."

"Yes," Belarus said, smiling, "Let's do that."

Suddenly, unexpectedly, Latvia moaned quietly.

"Latvia?" Estonia asked, looking startled, "What's wrong?"

"My head…" Latvia said, "My head hurts so much… And…my hands… Eduard! My hands still hurt…"

"His hands hurt?" Belarus asked, confused, "What is he talking about?"

The girl turned to Latvia, and, to her surprise, the boy's eyes widened, and he shrank away.

"No, no, they're not actually that badly hurt!" he squeaked, "I'm okay! I didn't mean to worry you, I just don't feel very good right now!"

"Give me your hands!" Belarus snapped, "If they hurt, someone needs to help you!"

Latvia shook his head, his expression panicked. Not knowing what else to do, Belarus reached forward, and, grabbing the boy's hands, pulled them toward her.

"No!" Latvia screamed, his voice pained, "I'm fine!"

Belarus glanced down at Latvia's hands. Then, slowly, she looked back up at him.

"If you're fine… Then why, Latvia, do you have open, bleeding cuts on your hands? What have you been _doing_?"

* * *

Russia honestly had not intended to go very far with this punishment. A few strikes with his pipe, and that would be all the torture for Lithuania today.

But after Russia had inflicted what he deemed the necessary punishment for an attempted escape, Lithuania still would not stop screaming.

His screams split the air, and the screams, too, had changed from what Russia remembered. Instead of sounding as if they had been torn out of the Baltic boy's frail body, as if Lithuania was trying his best not to scream, his cries now were shrieks of utter and complete hopelessness and agony.

And, despite the fact that he knew, deep inside, that he was the cause of Lithuania's despair, the screams frightened Russia, and he could not understand how his _Litva_, the kind nation with sunlight in his eyes, had become such a terrified, hopeless thing.

"_Litva_!" Russia shouted over the brunet boy's screams, "It is being over now! Stop with that screaming!"

But Lithuania did not stop, and in time, his agonized cries became intermingled with high-pitched, hysterical laughter, and murmurs in a language Russia could not understand. He assumed it was Lithuania's own language, but he did not know, and so he tried to talk to the boy, softly, in Russian.

Somehow, he could see from Lithuania's expression that the boy did not comprehend or even understand his words, and he could also see that Lithuania was terribly, terribly afraid of him, of Russia.

And still Lithuania screamed, his voice broken and desperate, until Russia could stand it no longer.

He stood up, leaving Lithuania still kneeling on the floor, broken and terrified and quite possibly insane, while he strode over to his bedside table, and, opening the drawer, pulled out the gun with which Lithuania had tried to kill himself the day before.

When he returned to crouch next to Lithuania, Russia paused for a moment, willing the brunet Baltic to stop screaming, so that he would not have to end Lithuania's pain forcefully. But Lithuania did not stop, and so, slowly, carefully, Russia aimed the gun at the boy's head.

"Stay still, little one," he whispered, "It will not hurt much."

Unexpectedly, Lithuania's screams gave way to soft, broken laughter.

"Toris?" Russia whispered, "Silly little Toris, stop that…"

He hesitated, not really wanting to shoot, even if it would end the insanity that he heard in Lithuania's screams, in his laughter.

And as he hesitated, Lithuania reached up and pulled the gun closer to his own head.

"_Litva_?" Russia asked, "_Litva_, what are you doing?"

Before Russia could pull the gun away, Lithuania's small hand pressed against his own… And not even meaning to, Russia pulled the trigger.

Lithuania crumpled to the floor, a soft, not-right smile on his face. Dead.

Russia could only stare, could only wonder what had happened to make Lithuania act this way.

_"Could it have been me? _Nyet_, that is not possible… But why then would he be acting this way now…? Is it really being my fault that _Litva_ is having the craziness…? Could that even be happening? Could it?"_

* * *

Estonia was near hysteria, and he had not the faintest idea what to do. He could almost _see_ his sanity ebbing away with the blood oozing from the cuts on Latvia's hands.

There was no visible blood now, though. Ukraine had bandaged the youngest Baltic's hands and ordered him to remove the bandages only if his life depended on it. But Estonia could remember, vividly, the image of Latvia's hands bleeding, the sound of the tiny boy's sobs.

They had had to postpone the rescue mission for one more day, as Belarus was currently furious, Ukraine, sad and wanting to comfort everyone, but being unable, and both Latvia and Estonia near hysteria.

Latvia was sitting on the sofa, now, looking down at his bandaged hands, and glanced periodically at the other end of the sofa, where both the blanket he had taken to wrapping himself in and the sofa itself showed telltale bloodstains.

Estonia sat next to him, waiting. Belarus had gone outside, most likely to stab angrily at the unforgiving snow, while Ukraine had gone to make something to eat-soup, Estonia thought she had said.

"Why, Lati?" the blonde Baltic asked quietly, "Why…? How…?"

"I didn't mean to the first time," Latvia said, "Last night. I woke up after having some bad dreams, and then… Then my head was hurting, and I realized…"

The boy looked up at Estonia, his eyes wide and teary.

"It's all my fault, isn't it?" Latvia asked, his voice choked.

"Raivis…" Estonia sighed, "None of this is your fault. You're the most innocent person here. You and Ukraine, that is."

"B-but, I…" Latvia whimpered, "I made Mr. Russia mad, and then you…"

"I made my choice," Estonia said, his voice dropping to a quieter tone, "I'm fine now, Latvia."

"No, you aren't," Latvia said, "You aren't really okay, or… Or you wouldn't be crying!"

Estonia hadn't realized he was crying, but, now, he became aware that his cheeks were wet.

"I cry all the time now," the blonde Baltic said quietly, "And it's not your fault that I broke, Raivis. I… I broke myself… Because I was too stupid to realize that you and Lithuania will always care. But… You fixed me… So how can you say that this was your fault?"

"At least… At least you tried," Latvia said, "At least you were able to try, even if it all turned out bad in the end."

"What do you mean, at least I tried?" Estonia asked, "You tried too!"

"I got you drunk and wasted a whole day!" Latvia cried, "I made the injuries Russia gave me worse and wasted another day! I… If I could just keep my mouth shut, we'd all be safe and happy!"

Estonia moaned quietly, burying his head in his hands.

_"I should never have told him what was going on… I should have kept him safe. I should have kept him close to me, where Russia would never have seen him… He would never have realized…"_

He became aware that someone was sobbing, but it took him a moment to realize that it was not himself.

Estonia looked over at Latvia, and, to his shock, saw that the tiny blonde was crying.

"Raivis… Raivis, don't cry…"

"I'm so…" Latvia sobbed, "So useless…"

"God damn it, Latvia, will you _stop it_?" Estonia snapped, "Don't you understand _anything_? If you hadn't helped me, I would be dead or insane, do you realize that? Do you?! Don't you realize how important you are to me?"

Latvia looked up at him, and the pain evident on the small boy's face hurt Estonia more than he had ever thought possible.

"If I had just kept my mouth shut," Latvia repeated, "Russia would _never_ have hurt you."

"Oh, yes, he would have," Estonia said, "He's cruel and crazy and he does what he does because he _feels like it_. He would have eventually targeted me, no matter what."

"B-but I made it happen sooner!" Latvia wailed.

"Latvia!" Estonia shouted, gripping the boy's shoulders, barely even noticing how his friend cried out in pain and fear, "It is _not_ your fault! Get it through your thick head, and shut your mouth before you get someone else hurt!"

"You do blame me," Latvia whispered, "You said I would hurt someone else. If I never hurt you, then why…?"

"Be quiet!" Estonia snapped, "You know _nothing_ about how this world works! You don't know how I felt! You can't know my pain, Latvia! And I'm glad of that, because…"

He paused, feeling a stray tear slip down his cheek.

"If you were in this kind of pain, it would destroy you."

"But I w-want that," Latvia said, sobbing, "I want to s-save you, E-Estonia… I want to save everyone… I don't want to be something that you guys have to protect just because it's your duty! I…I want to protect you, even if it means that I would die."

The small boy looked down, tears running down his face.

"If I were destroyed," he said, "If Russia destroyed me… Then there would be another Latvia, wouldn't there? I mean… A Latvian personification who wasn't…"

"Who wasn't what?" Estonia snapped, "What are you talking about?"

Latvia looked up at him, and the sadness in the boy's eyes threatened to overwhelm Estonia.

"If I wasn't the personification of Latvia… Then someone less useless would be."

"Latvia…" Estonia gasped.

Letting go of Latvia's shoulders, Estonia wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.

"You're not useless…" the bespectacled boy whispered, "You're… You're my brother… So please… Don't let this hurt you… I'm sorry you had to witness all these things, Lati… I'm so sorry…"

* * *

Estonia waited until Latvia finally fell asleep, not wanting to leave his smaller friend alone.

_"He's far from useless… I… Can't he see how much I need him?"_

Finally, once Latvia was safely asleep, Estonia went to the kitchen, where, as he had hoped he would, he found Ukraine.

"Where's Belarus?" Estonia asked cautiously.

"She went to her room to get some things," Ukraine said, "After all, we're going to leaving tomorrow, if all goes well… You should pack too, Estonia."

"I… I don't have anything to bring with me," Estonia said, "We weren't allowed much leisure time, and all the time I did have, I spent reading books I stole from Russia's library. They… They weren't the most interesting books… So I have nothing to take with me."

Ukraine sighed.

"I don't really, either," the blonde girl admitted, "I went upstairs to look, but almost everything I have… I don't know… I just…"

"There are memories," Estonia said, "When you have possessions, there are always memories associated with some of them."

Ukraine nodded.

"I… I suppose that's true."

"Can I sit down?" Estonia asked.

"Um… Of course," Ukraine said, "It isn't my kitchen, you know."

Estonia nodded, taking a seat next to Ukraine.

"Raivis thinks he's useless," the bespectacled boy said quietly, "He thinks someone else would be a better Latvia than he is. I… I don't know how to make him see… How much I need him…"

"He's so little…" Ukraine murmured, "He's too young to be broken like that…"

"I should never have let him find out what was happening," Estonia said, "I should have kept him safe. I'm his brother… I'm supposed to…"

"I thought you three weren't siblings…" Ukraine said, sounding puzzled.

"Which one of us said that this household was a family?" Estonia retorted. Then, he sighed.

"You're right, you know," he said, "We aren't siblings. We…we barely have anything in common… We just have our pain as a shared trait. And Latvia shouldn't even know what pain is…"

"He's fifteen, isn't he?" Ukraine asked, "Most fifteen year olds…"

"Most fifteen year olds are not my Latvia!" Estonia snapped, "He's not a normal kid, Yekaterina… You have to know that."

"No, he isn't a normal kid," Ukraine agreed, "He's a nation. And when we leave… Eventually, there will come a day when Latvia will have to be brave on his own, without you."

"I don't want that to happen!" Estonia moaned, "I don't… I don't want him to end up like me."

"You're not that bad…" Ukraine said.

"I'm insane," Estonia said quietly, "I'm still insane. I'm just… I'm just not letting my insanity take over right now. But it's still there. I can feel it. It's a cold feeling, a hard feeling… It's the pain in my chest, and it's waiting for the moment when I lose all ability to keep it from coming out…"

He paused, staring down at the table.

"And when that insanity takes over again… When that happens, Yekaterina, I will destroy myself. I… I'm scared."

"Don't be scared…" Ukraine said, "You can fight it! You can…"

"I can fight it," Estonia said, "But I can't erase it. It won't go away. I… I keep on thinking… I could kill Russia. That thought won't leave me alone, and even though I'm not going to do it, the thought won't leave me alone. And…and the thought of killing myself… It won't go away either… Katya… I'm scared…"

He looked over at her, his gaze desperate, pleading.

"I don't want to die!" he whispered, "And I don't want to be insane again… Please… Yekaterina… Please help me…"

"Ssh…" Ukraine said, reaching over and stroking his hair, "Ssh… You'll be all right, Estonia. I'll help you. I won't leave you… Believe me. I'll stay with you, and I'll help…"

And, for some reason he could not explain, Estonia decided that it would be all right to unexpectedly hug a girl he barely knew. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that he had become closer to her in the past days. Or, maybe, it was something more.

* * *

**I have rebuilt my wall. It is fifty meters high, and therefore, you cannot get in... I hope! (And anyone who gets the "wall fifty meters high" reference is awesome... It is from an anime, but not Hetalia...) xD**


	12. Chapter 11

**Well, I managed to update on time! Shocking!**

**Anyways, this _would_ have been the last chapter, but something made me start thinking about this story's plot, and so, it is not the last chapter! There will be at least two or three more chapters and an epilogue after this.**

* * *

Chapter Eleven:

It was the next day when Lithuania's eyes opened, when he found himself lying on Russia's bed, staring up at the ceiling. He was alive, and he did not want to be.

"I should be dead…" he whispered hoarsely, "I want to be dead."

"Little _Litva_…" said a voice, "Why? Why can't you just…?"

"Russia," Lithuania whispered, "Try to understand. I can't take this anymore."

"I… I am sorry," Russia said, "I hurt you too much."

"Yes, you did," Lithuania said, his voice tired, but not really accusing, even as he uttered the next words.

"Look what you did. I can't even remember what love is right now. But I think… We… We could have had something like love… Except now I can't remember _how_ to love."

"And that is my fault, little one," Russia said, "I… _Litva_, am I insane?"

Lithuania looked up at Russia, feeling himself beginning to panic.

"Do you want an honest answer?" he whispered, his voice fearful.

"Da," Russia said.

Lithuania took a deep breath, and, then, he sat up, in order to look Russia in the eyes.

"Mr. Russia… Ivan… I think, because you asked me that question, you might be getting better… But, yes… You are-or, at least, you were-insane."

Russia's violet eyes widened.

"You would not be lying?" he asked, his voice sounding as if he wanted Lithuania to have lied, "Friends do not lie, da?"

"You asked for my opinion," Lithuania whimpered, "And that is what I think."

Russia stepped toward him, and Lithuania screamed.

"I'm sorry! Please, don't…"

"Toris…" Russia whispered, "I… I never meant to make you scared of me… I'm sorry!"

And as Lithuania stared at Russia, his eyes wide, something that he had been hoping for finally happened. The door burst open. Help had finally come… But at the worst possible moment.

"What would this be being?" Russia asked in evident confusion.

"We're here to save Lithuania!" Latvia piped up, peeking around Estonia, who looked as if he didn't particularly want Latvia to make their purpose known.

"Oh," Russia said, "Um… He will…. He will not be coming."

"That's for him to decide," Belarus hissed, "You don't get to decide, Russia. You lost that right when you hurt him."

"B-Belarus…" Lithuania whispered, "Eduard, Raivis…? Ukraine? You actually… You came here to find me?"

Suddenly, he realized that he had to choose. He had to choose between Russia and the others, between pain that might result in Russia finally getting better, and the freedom he so longed for.

And he did not know what he would choose.

* * *

Belarus stared at Lithuania, willing him to choose the sensible thing, the sane thing.

"Please…" Lithuania whispered, his voice broken, "Don't make me choose…"

He sounded so hopeless, so broken, even when it was clear that things would be all right. It hurt Belarus more than she had thought possible, seeing him so hurt. And it also made her terribly, terribly angry, seeing what Russia had done to Lithuania, to Toris.

"What did you do to him?" she hissed, glaring at Russia.

"I… I'm sorry…" Russia whispered, "I really am…"

"You'll never be sorry!" Belarus shrieked. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Estonia wince, saw Latvia cling tighter to him, but she didn't care.

"You're heartless!" the girl shouted, loving the way Russia flinched, looking pained by her words, "You'll never learn, will you? I… I can't believe I loved you!"

"Belarus, I…" Russia started, but, suddenly, the terrible anger overwhelmed the girl, and she lunged forward, her knife flashing as she pulled it out.

"Belarus, no!"

She wasn't sure who it was who had yelled it. Lithuania maybe, or Ukraine, or Estonia, or maybe even little, frightened Latvia. It might have been all of them. But all she could think of was the overwhelming desire to punish Russia, to hurt him for what he had done to her, to their family and to her friends. She would hurt him for all the times he had lied to her.

"Natalya, _don't_!"

There was a quick movement from the side, a flash of green fabric and dark hair. Belarus' knife went into someone's stomach, and there was suddenly blood on her hands, and on the other person's tattered clothes.

Belarus gasped. The person she had just stabbed was most definitely, by some horrible mistake, not Russia.

"Don't hurt him," Lithuania whispered, his eyes full of pain, blood spurting from the wound in his stomach, "Please."

As Belarus stared at him, her eyes wide, the brunet Baltic pulled her closer, gasping slightly as the knife blade sunk farther into his stomach.

She tried to pull away, but somehow, she couldn't seem to move. She could only stare at him, at Lithuania, at the boy she had tried to save… The boy whom she had stabbed while trying to avenge the wrongs done to him by her own brother.

"No one needs to die," Lithuania said softly, "Please, Natalya… Don't hurt Russia… He's been hurt enough…"

He pulled her into his embrace, leaning against her slightly, his breathing painful, sobbing.

"Toris…" Belarus whimpered, "W-why…?"

"Ssh…" Lithuania whispered, "No killing… Please… I hate it when people get hurt… When they die… The only person who needs to die…is me. Because…I don't want to live…anymore."

And then, quietly, his voice agonized, he whispered a few quiet words.

"But even though I want this… It…still hurts…" Lithuania whispered, his voice growing fainter.

"Natalya… It hurts…"

"Toris…?" Belarus gasped. Lithuania's body had suddenly become terribly heavy. It was then that she realized she had killed him.

"Toris!"

Unable to stop him from falling, Belarus attempted to lower the boy to the floor gently, only for him to fall with a painful-sounding thud.

"L-Lithuania!"

Latvia's pitiful, frightened sobs rekindled Belarus' anger, as did the sight of Lithuania, lying unmoving on the floor, her knife embedded in his stomach.

Reaching down, Belarus pulled the knife out of Lithuania's body. However, as she straightened, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

It was Estonia. The blonde Baltic shook his head slowly, tears in his eyes.

"Don't become a killer," he said, "You… You don't want to end up like me."

But, Belarus realized, it was too late. She had already become a killer, and it was irreversible. She, Natalya Arlovskaya, had murdered someone she cared for dearly, and his death could have been-no, should have been-avoided. It made no difference to her that Lithuania would come back, that he would live again, would have the second chance a human could not. It only mattered that she had stabbed him, the boy who only meant to do her good.

The knife clattered to the floor, and Belarus sank to her knees.

"I killed him…" she whispered, "I'm already a murderer. Toris…"

To her own surprise, Belarus began to feel tears welling up. It did not take long before they spilled over.

"I'm sorry, Toris… I didn't mean to hurt you… Why? Why do you always have to save everyone…? Idiot… C-come back… I'm…sorry…"

* * *

Ukraine stared at the scene in front of her. Belarus was kneeling on the ground, sobbing, with Estonia standing behind her, staring down at her with an unreadable emotion in his eyes. Russia stood a short distance away, half-glaring, half-surprised, and appearing more than a little angry, watching the three children who were within dangerously close proximity to him.

"Latvia," Ukraine whispered, trying to keep her voice calm, "You need to go downstairs, okay?"

"B-b-but…" Latvia started to protest, but Ukraine cut him off, her voice firm.

"I'm going to bring the others, but I want you to go now. Go…go find a snack. You must be hungry by now."

Latvia's eyes filled with tears, but, then, he nodded, and turned away. A moment later, his footsteps told Ukraine that he had run away.

_"One person safe…" _the girl thought, _"Three…no, four…to go."_

"That was not very much of the niceness, little sister," Russia said to Belarus, his voice low and sinister.

Belarus didn't even appear to notice Russia, but Estonia's eyes widened, and Ukraine knew that he had heard.

"Estonia, Belarus," Ukraine said, "Russia and I need to talk. Please go downstairs."

Estonia looked up at her, shaking his head.

"I'm not leaving you alone with him," he said quietly, "You can't make me."

"Eduard, take my sister and _go_!" Ukraine commanded. They were running out of time. She could see it, could see Russia visibly struggling not to lose control with both of his sisters so close. And she could see that he desperately wanted to unleash his anger on someone, whether it be Belarus, the helpless, unconscious Lithuania, or, more likely, Estonia, who could not be allowed to face Russia's anger.

"No!" Estonia shouted, "I'm not leaving you alone with him! I told you that already, and I'm sticking to what I said! I… I won't leave you, Katya. I won't!"

Ukraine had never realized it before now, but, apparently, raised voices were one of things that made Russia lose his self-restraint. Her entire focus on Estonia, she never saw Russia reach inside his coat. Estonia, however, saw the motion out of the corner of his eye. His reaction was slightly delayed, for before he could act, Russia had his pipe firmly in hand.

"Belarus, get out of here!" Estonia shrieked, pushing the girl out of the way, and, to Ukraine's relief, closer to the door than she had been.

Russia's pipe crashed down on Estonia's back a moment later. The bespectacled Baltic screamed, his glasses falling to the floor as his body jerked from the impact.

"Russia, no!" Ukraine screamed, running over and managing to get between Russia and the fallen Estonian, "Don't hurt them! Don't hurt either of them!"

"K-Katya…" Estonia whispered, groping for his glasses. It was then that Ukraine realized that it was at least three times now that he had called her Katya, and not her more formal, full name, Yekaterina.

"Big sister…?" Russia asked, sounding confused and almost frightened, "What would you be doing now?"

"Let Eduard and Natalya go!" Ukraine pleaded, "They're only children!"

She heard an indignant growl from Estonia, heard Belarus's sobs, and knew that, somehow, she had to get them out of there.

"You're making him angrier," she said to Estonia, "Take my little sister and go!"

"I don't want to…" Estonia whispered, his voice breaking, "I don't want to leave. I'm not a child…"

"Eduard, go _now_!" Ukraine snapped, "I… I can't let him hurt you. I promised to help you, so… Go on."

Sobbing, Estonia stood up, and, going over to Belarus, pulled the girl to her feet.

"Let's go," Estonia whispered, so quietly that Ukraine could barely hear him from where she stood, "K-Katya wants us to leave."

Ukraine waited until their footsteps faded away, before turning back to Russia. Her younger brother was staring at her, looking both shocked and confused.

"I almost hurt Belarus…" Russia murmured, "I was not meaning to hit Estonia… I would have hurt my sister…"

"I know…" Ukraine said, "Brother, please… This has to stop. Look…look at Lithuania. Remember… He was so scared. He was scared you would hurt him, he's afraid of being hurt… But he still took a knife through his stomach for you. He… I think he loves you very much, as a friend… But he needs to go outside and see sunlight… He needs to live, Russia. We _all_ need to live again."

"What would you have me do, sister?" Russia asked, "If I am letting him leave… If you leave, and _Litva_ leaves… You will not be coming back."

"Maybe in time," Ukraine said, "Maybe in time we could come and visit…"

"I don't want to be alone!" Russia whispered, his voice quiet and childish. For a moment, Ukraine was transported back to their childhood, and she realized then that his voice still sounded the same.

"Russia…" she murmured, "You never grew up."

"What is this you are saying?" Russia asked, evidently confused, "I am much of the grownness, big sister! See? I'm taller than you!"

"You sound just the same as you did when we were little…" Ukraine whispered, feeling the first tear run down her cheek, "But you were so innocent then… And now…"

"_Litva_ said I was crazy!" Russia informed her, his eyes wide, "Am I crazy? Is that why…? Is that why my voice never changed? Why everyone else acts different from me? Why, big sister, am I different? Am I crazy?"

"Russia, you need to calm down…" Ukraine said. The taller nation was becoming visibly upset, and, although she had never seen this kind of panic in him before, she felt that any emotion from Russia was likely to be dangerous. She had come, through some bizarre turn of events, to fear her own brother.

"Am I crazy?" Russia persisted, "Ukraine, please tell me! I don't know what's going on anymore…"

"I'll help you!" Ukraine said, "Russia, I'll come back, I'll try to explain, but please…"

Her gaze wandered to Lithuania's crumpled form, and in his expression and in the evidence his tattered and bloodstained clothes gave, she saw a glimpse of the horror he had gone through at her brother's hand.

"Please let Lithuania go," Ukraine whispered, "Russia… He's broken too. He's… If you_ are_ crazy, then… Don't you want Lithuania to go away, before he becomes crazy too?"

"It's too late…" Russia murmured, his voice distant, "I already made him broken and crazy, Ukraine… I… I broke my only friend…"

Russia's purple eyes met Ukraine's, and she saw in them confusion and grief.

"I'm not a good friend, am I, big sister?"

Ukraine stared at him.

_"He…he realizes now what he's done… But he still won't let poor Lithuania leave!"_

"Oh, Russia," she said, tears threatening to fall, "You would be a wonderful friend if only… If only you didn't hurt your friends…"

"I can't stop…" Russia whispered, "I tried, and… I hurt him more, Ukraine! There's…so much blood… So much blood, everywhere. And most of the blood is on _my_ hands… And then…a lot of it…is on _Litva_. I hurt him so much that… He's covered in blood… Everything's…red…like blood."

* * *

**OK, I need to make a mental note not to write AN's while listening to action music. (AKA the "Attack on Titan" opening.) It's very distracting.**

**Anyways, enough rambling. I'm not completely sure what I think of this chapter, but... It's definitely not the worst thing I ever came up with... I hope?**

**Reviews are much appreciated, and thank you all for your support so far! :)**


	13. Chapter 12

**And yet again, I did not update on Monday... I'm sorry!**

**But this story is nearing its conclusion, friends. It is nearly over. And...that's actually really scary to think about.**

* * *

Chapter Twelve:

Estonia barely even registered the others' pain, he was so caught up in his own. Vaguely, he knew that Belarus was sobbing, screaming, and that Latvia was trying to comfort her. He knew that the younger boy was also crying, but all he could do was stare into space, wanting to cry, but not quite being able.

"I left them…" he whispered, his voice broken, "I left Katya and Toris at Russia's mercy… I'm… I'm a useless coward…"

He laughed quietly, somehow enjoying the sinister way his voice echoed around the small room. It was then, feeling utterly alone, that he lost all self restraint.

Estonia threw back his head and laughed aloud, and even he knew that there was insanity in his laughter.

"I left them!" he announced between his hysterical, sobbing laughs, "I left Katya behind! And I left Toris too! In the end, won't I leave everyone? Isn't that the way it is? I'll always betray everyone, so why should I try to help anymore? I left them! My dear friend, and then my brother, I left them! How long will it be before I leave Raivis and Belarus too?"

"Estonia!" Latvia whimpered from behind him, "Please, _please_, don't act that way…"

"It's not as if anyone cares!" Estonia said, his maddened shouts echoing around the room. He loved that echo, the way it made his voice sound. For once, he almost sounded powerful.

"Even you, Raivis, will forget me!" he shouted, "You may think you care, but watch! When I'm gone, you won't think twice before turning to find someone else to care about! I'm just another nation, lumped together with you and Lithuania under the title of the Baltic States! You can easily find someone to replace me!"

He laughed again, and this time, there was bitterness in the sound.

"You're not the useless personification, Lati. I am."

"Eduard…" Latvia sobbed, "Please…"

The boy had left the safety of the sofa, left the meager comfort of Belarus's protection. He came over to Estonia, who stood staring at him, trying to figure out why the younger nation did not flee.

"Please, Estonia…" Latvia whispered, coming closer, "I need you…"

"If you needed me, then I would be able to save you!" Estonia screamed, "If I could help you, Raivis, then maybe I would believe that you need me! But I can't save you! I can't even help you! Look… Look at your hands… You're all broken and scarred now…"

He paused, looking away from Latvia and down at his own hands, the hands of one who had nearly become a murderer.

"I couldn't save you, or Katya, or Toris," he said bitterly, "I couldn't even save myself, so how…? How could I possibly have saved you?"

"Heroes," said a voice as broken as his own, "Seldom _do_ save themselves."

Belarus was watching them, her face still tearstained, but her expression no longer quite as distraught.

"Being a hero is about sacrifice," she said.

"Sacrifice?" Estonia said bitterly, "You mean, sacrificing yourself to save another life? You've said it yourself, Belarus. I'm a coward. I'm selfish, and I've never sacrificed myself. I only tried to save everyone, but myself first. I was always the most important person in my eyes, and now… I can't break that habit."

"I was wrong about you," Belarus said, "There are different kinds of sacrifice. Toris sacrificed his body, over and over. The scars he has, permanent and irreversible, are his proof of sacrifice."

"I made no such sacrifice," Estonia said, "The few petty scars I have were largely accidental."

"Your sacrifice was not of your body," Belarus said, "Physical torture is the burden Lithuania bears. Now… Perhaps he also shares in your sacrifice, because we were too late to rescue him."

"And what is that sacrifice?" Estonia asked, "What is the sacrifice that Toris and I may share?"

"Your sanity," Belarus said, "Your sacrifice, your heroic act… It was when you stepped into this game Russia and Lithuania used to play alone, knowing that your mind couldn't take it. You sacrificed your sanity for Latvia, didn't you?"

"I underwent pain, and couldn't endure it," Estonia said, "That is not a sacrifice! That is only weakness."

"Miss Belarus is right," Latvia said, "There are broken heroes too, Eduard! The broken heroes… They're the best kind! I like them the best, I mean. Because they don't just stay strong. They don't have that superhuman ability to endure pain without appearing to suffer, so they're the ones that seem the most human. You tried really hard…"

"…But your mind couldn't take the strain, and while trying to be your brothers' savior, you were broken," Belarus said, "And so, insanity took you. You still tried to be the savior, but you did so while in the grip of madness. You told me not to become a killer, because you did not want me to end up like you. The advice you gave was yet another heroic act. You know I am a dangerous person, and you still approached me to offer that advice. _That_ is a heroic action. Eduard von Bock, although you may not believe it, although you do not look like it… _You_ are a hero, although perhaps you are one who can never heal from his battle scars."

"A hero?" Estonia said bitterly, "Me?"

"Yes," said a quiet, tired voice from the doorway, "They're right. You tried hard to protect everyone, and _that_, Estonia, is what heroes do."

Ukraine stood in the doorway, watching them.

"You'll be all right," she said, "We'll all be all right. I… I think Russia's getting better."

"But he wouldn't let you bring Lithuania with you," Estonia said, "So what we went through is still for nothing."

"He'll come around," Ukraine said, her voice hopeful, "I think he'll let us go, Eduard. Just be patient. We'll try again soon."

_"Soon?" _Estonia thought, _"I was being selfish before, but now, I agree with Belarus. Tomorrow won't be soon enough for Lithuania. He's shattering, breaking… Maybe he already has. But…for him to believe that he is the one who deserves to die… What could possibly have happened to bring him to that conclusion?"_

He knew, however, that Ukraine would not allow an immediate, forceful action. The girl would surely value the safety of the rest of the group over Lithuania's sanity. But he, Estonia, who was so far gone… He would not allow Lithuania to fall into darkness, as he had.

"We can't wait for long," he said.

_"We can't wait at all. If you will not act, Yekaterina… If you must care for Belarus and Latvia before we can intervene for Lithuania… Then I will step up. Sacrifice makes a hero, Belarus said. Then… I _will_ sacrifice."_

* * *

Once Ukraine came to speak with Estonia, Belarus allowed herself to collapse inward. She knew that Latvia, sitting next to her, would be unable to tell that she was breaking as long as she kept all emotion off her face. Over and over in her mind, the moment she had stabbed Lithuania replayed in all its gory detail.

_"I stabbed him mercilessly. I would have done that to big brother. All that blood, all that pain, it was supposed to be Russia who experienced that. I never meant for Lithuania to be hurt like that… But of course, he had to play the hero. I suppose that's what I loved about him, but…"_

She paused, trying to block out the next, horrible thought.

_"I killed him for the very thing I so admire. And before, I… I hurt him because he was kind to me. Because I _hated_ his kindness, hated the way he tried so hard to impress me, because he already seemed to have all that I wanted. I…punished him…for having a life full of abuse at the hands of the brother I idolized. He didn't deserve that hurt, and so, how could he possibly have deserved to pay for his kindness with his life?"_

She knew Lithuania would return, alive, knew that he would not blame her for the terrible pain she had inflicted upon him, but she still could not shake the image of his face, pained, a broken, hopeless look in his eyes, as he pulled her closer, thrusting the knife farther into his own stomach.

_"Sentencing himself to yet another cruel punishment. Oh, _Toris, why_?"_

And thinking back, then, Belarus wondered if Lithuania would not have been safer had she never come near him, had she never dared to attempt to learn the truth by asking this seemingly worthless boy to tell her. This boy had turned out to be far more precious than she could have thought, and she had hurt him.

_"If I had not asked him what was going on… If I had not forced him to talk… If I had not tried to stop their punishment and made it worse… Perhaps he would not be in this hopeless situation now. Perhaps it would have been better if I had stayed cold toward him, hurting him only a little. He cares too much. When he cares, he opens up yet another weak point in his far too vulnerable heart. I cannot be his weak point. And I cannot protect him… Not if he is always protecting me. So… Perhaps…"_

Belarus sighed, and, despite her wish to keep the tears from spilling over, they began to fall.

_"I can protect him better… If I only pretend that I do not love him. And he will be safe… If I make it clear that I, and I alone, will protect myself. Even if it means hurting him a little, surely he'll recover? Surely I don't mean enough to him that if I withdraw, he will be hurt by it forever? No, of course he does not care that much, not really. He is Lithuania, the smiling boy with eyes of sunlight. I am Belarus, the ice queen. Sunlight and ice cannot be together… Not in the end… Not when the ice will crush and destroy the sunlight. For a time, the sunlight melted the ice. Now… the ice…both me and my brother…have crushed the sunshine's light. I am sorry, Toris. I am not a safe person to love. I would have killed my own brother. Once, I would even have killed you."_

She looked down, remembering.

_"I plotted your death in great detail, and I relished the thought of your agony, of your screams. I am sick. I am a killer, like Russia. Siblings are sometimes very much alike, and such is the case here. In time, I would come once again to hurt you. Even now, when I know how much I care for you… I hurt you. The best way to keep you safe… Is for you to believe firmly that I never loved you, for you to believe that I went so far as to lie about my feelings for some reason. But I will protect you from afar. When you are hurt, when you get into one of those ridiculous situations that only you can… Then I will save you, although you must never see that I am the one. That is what I must do. Forgive me, Toris. I am a killer. It is in my blood. You are too kind for this world, and would love even a killer in hopes of changing that person. And you would destroy yourself in doing so. Forgive me. We must never… We must never be together."_

* * *

Lithuania had hoped, every time he had orchestrated his own death, that this would be the final curtain call. That he, Lithuania, would finally cease to exist, no longer needed as personification of any nation.

And time and time again, he woke, to face the darkness and growing despair that haunted his mind.

"Someone, please…" he whispered upon waking, "Show me how to die… Let me leave this world… Please."

"_Litva_…" Russia's voice was quiet, almost frightened, "You are still wanting death?"

"There's nothing else for me to wait for, Ivan," Lithuania said, "At the end of every life, there is death. Humans…they don't know how lucky they are, being able to choose, to some degree, the day of their passing. No nation has that right, nor do we possess that ability. We can only wait for the inevitable day when someone finally overthrows us, so that we may fade away. I… I want to die now, Ivan. At least humans have to hope of love, of a family. I… I cannot even remember…the meaning of those words. They're all jumbled in my head… All I know is that I deserve to be punished, that I want to die more than anything, and it is the one thing I cannot do. Ivan, please, if you know how… Kill me. Kill me so that I can never return to this world."

"Oh, little Toris…" Russia sighed, sounding almost regretful, "I… I did this to you, didn't I?"

"I chose this life for myself," Lithuania said, "I… At that time, I thought I would never regret choosing this life, filled with pain, if it meant I could save my friends. But now, I see that I doomed myself to a never-ending despair."

Tears began to fall again, spilling from his dull, green eyes and onto his tattered uniform.

"I see now…" he whispered, "I never wanted to escape, because… If I escape from this mansion, from you, Russia… I will carry my memories with me. I didn't want to escape! I wanted to go back… To anywhere but here! To stay with America again for a time, to live with Poland and fight beside him… I wanted to go back…to the happy times I shared with my friends. But I can't… I can't go back… Never to that happiness, never to my friends. There is only death…for me."

* * *

Russia could only stare at Lithuania, wondering if the boy had really said what he thought he had heard.

"Little one… _Litva_…" Russia stammered, surprised, "Why…?"

"Why not?" Lithuania asked, seeming strangely calm, "Everyone must face death. So why not me? Why not now?"

"Because I do not want you to die!" Russia blurted.

"If you didn't want me to die…" Lithuania said slowly, "Then why, Russia, did you spend so long slowly killing me? This…this place… Ever since I entered this house, I have been dying slowly. And now…"

The boy broke off, chuckling softly.

"Now I have lost the true meaning of words I once knew," he said, "I don't remember the meaning of the words that kept me alive. What is love, Mr. Russia? What is friendship? I…I wanted to teach these things to you… But I myself have forgotten them."

"Then remember, _Litva_!" Russia said, "Please! How can I help you remember those words? I can try to help you, if you tell me how…"

"I don't know how to remember, Ivan," Lithuania said, "I… I can't… I want to remember things, happy things, and words that meant a lot to me… But…they're slipping away. Something cracked, I think… And when it did, all the good things escaped me, leaving only this pain."

The brunet boy sighed.

"I can't stand the pain… I can't…be strong…anymore…"

* * *

Estonia waited until night, painfully aware that every moment was one more that Lithuania, his brother, would be trapped.

_"He called me his brother. He protected me. I will protect him. I can do it. I will get him out of there, even if it means I have to stay behind. If I can only get him downstairs, if I can only convince the others to flee… Then I can distract Russia, while they get out of here. If…if Katya will leave me. Of course she'll leave me. I'll only be a burden to them if I go, and I'm one less person for them to worry about… They'll leave me. And it's all right. It's fine if they leave me, as long as they all get out with their sanity intact."_

And so, when his friends had finally fallen asleep, Estonia made his move.

The blonde boy stood up, and, in the half-light from the moon outside, looked around at his friends.

_"If this is the last time we meet… Then I want to remember your faces."_

Latvia was curled up on the sofa, shivering slightly. The boy had kicked his blanket off somehow, and Estonia tucked it back around him, smiling softly.

"Stay safe, Lati. And… Find someone better to take care of you, okay?"

He glanced over at Belarus, but did not go near her, afraid the girl would awake and confront him.

"I hope you won't think I'm a coward now," he said, "And I hope… I hope this won't be in vain."

He went to Ukraine last, and it was then, only for a moment, that he wished, perhaps selfishly, to stay with his friends, despite the fact that if he did not act, Lithuania might come out of Russia's mansion even farther gone than he, Estonia, was already.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, "It looks as if… You may not be able to help me, after all."

He looked down at her, and then, he glanced over at Latvia and at Belarus, thinking of happiness that might have been had, if they could only have escaped. Somehow, Estonia had reconciled himself to the thought of being left behind, and he would willingly make that sacrifice if it came to that.

"It's not as if you need me," he said, "But you need Lithuania. So… Goodbye, Katya. Goodbye, little brother, Raivis… And goodbye, Natalya. Maybe I'll be back, and then I will stay with you. But more likely, I'll only be here long enough to ask you to forget me…and run away…"

His voice broke, and, not wanting his emotions to take over, he turned away.

"Katya… If I thought it would matter, I would have… I would have told you… I…"

He could not say it. He could not say the thing he so wished to.

"I… Farewell."

* * *

Russia watched Lithuania as the boy slept, wondering how he could help him.

"I… I always thought, before, that I could help you with punishment…" he mumbled, "But now… I can't see why I thought that. Poor little Toris… How did it come to this? I… I'm sorry, _Litva_. Forgive me."

But, of course, there was no reply from Lithuania, only stillness.

Suddenly, Lithuania began to thrash wildly, and, although he was still asleep, it appeared to Russia that the boy was in pain.

"You will hurt yourself…" Russia whispered, "Please, be stopping that…"

Of course, Lithuania ignored him, and, after a moment's hesitation, Russia went over and held the boy down, trying not to hurt him.

Lithuania struggled, crying out in his sleep, pleading for someone to stop, to not hurt him again. And Russia knew that although Lithuania was in a dream, the person the boy was talking to must be him, must be Russia. For who else would have hurt Lithuania so much that he cried even in dreams?

"Ssh, little one," Russia said, "I… I will not do it again. I will be trying harder to be a good friend, da? _Litva, please_… If you will only get better, then I will try very hard to get better too! So… Come back from darkness. I want the sunlight in your eyes to come back. Please, Toris… Come back."

* * *

**Fine. I admit it. I added chapters to have an excuse to have Estonia lose it one more time. But...he may not act exactly the way you expect him to... :)**

**Now, update on life. I'm updating a day early, as you can see, since I have to leave for a youth retreat after school tomorrow. If I can, I'll update "Written in Blood" before I leave. If not, then it will update as usual starting on the Saturday after this one. :) **


	14. Chapter 13

**Well, after not updating for a week YET AGAIN, I have returned!**

**My extreme apologies for not updating sooner, and also for neglecting to mention a very important fact...**

**This is the final chapter. I honestly did not realize that before, but this is, in fact, the conclusion of the "Soviet Insanity" series.**

**Well, sort of...**

**More on that at the end of the chapter. For now, I hope you enjoy the final installment! (And I desperately hope that everyone remains in character...)**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen:

It was in the sleepless darkness, watching Lithuania cry in his sleep, that Russia received another visitor. He came quietly, unexpectedly, with a tremor in his voice and the desperate half-mad demeanor Russia had never expected from any of his Baltics, but had found in two of them.

When Estonia opened the door, it frightened Russia, because, for the first time, he found himself fearing the loss of self restraint that always led him to punish his family. And he also feared Estonia, who had come once with a gun and a determination to kill.

But there was no such malicious determination in Estonia's voice now, only a quiet pleading, and a certain brokenness that Russia would never have guessed could be inserted into the introverted Baltic's voice.

"Mr. Russia," Estonia said, "I… I know I've done a lot of things to make you angry… But I've come to ask you one last time. Will you… Will you make a deal with me?"

"What deal would that be, Estonia?" Russia asked, wondering what could have possibly brought about this change in Estonia. Ordinarily, there would have been no questions, no confession that Estonia had done wrong, merely anger. Now, Russia heard in Estonia's voice overwhelming pain and regret, and also a sort of determination, but not the angry kind that had sought to end the lives of more than one nation.

"I want to ask you again to make a trade," Estonia said, "My life for Lithuania's freedom. Please, _please_, don't make him stay here… He…"

Estonia fell to his knees, his head bowed.

"He's too kind to have to stay here in darkness, cold, and pain forever," he said, "I know you're lonely, and that's why you don't want him to leave. And, yes, Lithuania is a far better companion than anyone else… But he can't survive here… He shouldn't _need_ to survive in here! I… I want him to go with the others, to be free…"

The blonde boy looked up at Russia, and in the dim light, Russia saw tears in Estonia's eyes.

"But I also know that you would hate it if we all left," he said, "You and I, Mr. Russia, are not so different after all. We share the same fear, and also, I have come to believe, we possess a similar madness. And…so that you wouldn't be alone or afraid… So Lithuania and the others could be free… I would ask to trade my freedom for Lithuania's."

Russia could only stare in shock at this boy, this nation, who, it seemed, had changed a great deal from the cold-hearted child he had once believed him to be.

"I… I know you get angry, and you have to take out your anger on someone," Estonia continued, "So I wouldn't mind if you hurt me, if you tortured me… I wouldn't care what you did… As long as Lithuania and Latvia, and Ukraine and Belarus… As long as they were free, I would willingly do anything you wanted…"

Estonia bowed his head again, but whether to hide the tears on his face, or for some other reason, Russia could not tell.

"Please, Mr. Russia… Will you accept this trade?"

"Estonia…" Russia said, "I… There will not be a trade."

Estonia's eyes flashed as he raised his head, and Russia saw frightening anger and a disturbing anguish in the boy's gaze.

"But," Russia continued, "I think that… I think…"

He paused, fully, terribly aware that what he was about to say would leave him hopelessly alone, perhaps forever.

"_Litva_ cannot stay here," he said quietly, "He needs to leave, as do you all. Even you, Estonia, cannot stay. There will be no trade. No one will be staying here, except for me."

"W-what?" Estonia asked, staring at him, "What are you saying?"

"Take _Litva_ back to his home," Russia said, glancing over at the brunet boy, who was somehow still asleep, "Take everyone back to their homes. I am sorry, Estonia, for what I have done."

At that moment, there were footsteps in the hallway, and then, Ukraine burst into the room.

"Ivan! Eduard! What are you…" her voice trailed off as she took in the scene, and Russia could see that she was both confused and relieved at finding Estonia unhurt.

"Hello, big sister," Russia said quietly, "I had just been telling Estonia that it was time to be taking Lithuania home."

"That's a cruel joke, Russia," Ukraine said, "That's _extremely _cruel."

"I do not joke," Russia said, "Ukraine, I have said it to Estonia, and I will also say it to you. I am sorry for what I did to you, and to everyone."

Disbelief was evident on Ukraine's face, but there was also hope there.

"Oh, Russia…"

"You need to go home," Russia said, "So, wake up little Toris, and you can go. I… I will not stop you now."

* * *

Lithuania almost liked waking this time, simply because his sleep was no longer a pleasant escape. But when he did open his eyes, he felt as if this too must be a dream.

Estonia stood next to the bed where he lay, smiling very slightly.

"Time to get up, Lithuania," he said.

"W-what are you doing here?" Lithuania asked, panicked, "Does Mr. Russia know you're here?!"

"He does," Estonia said, "We… We're going home."

For a moment, Lithuania did not register Estonia's words. And when he did, he burst into tears, certain that it was a cruel joke.

"Lithuania…" Estonia said, leaning over and grasping Lithuania's thin hand, "I promise you, I'm not lying! We're going home. Russia said we could. Didn't you, Mr. Russia?"

"Da," said the unmistakable voice of Russia, "I did. Get up, little _Litva_. It is time for you to be going home."

"See?" Estonia said softly, "He agrees."

"Home…" Lithuania murmured, "I… I think I liked that word, once."

Shakily, he pushed the covers off and climbed out of bed.

"Will we all go home?" he asked, "Is it allowed?"

"We're all going, Toris," Estonia said, "We're going home together!"

"I will not be going," added Russia's quiet voice, "This is where I must stay."

"You should probably say goodbye to him," Estonia informed Lithuania, "He… He'll miss you."

Lithuania nodded, and, vaguely, he noticed Estonia leaving him to join Ukraine near the door. He was left alone to face Russia.

"It would be seeming that this is goodbye," Russia said, smiling sadly, "I… I would say it has been fun, but… It has not been much of the funness, has it?"

"N-not really," Lithuania said, "But… Did I help, Ivan? In the end, did I do something to help?"

"Da, little one," Russia said, "You helped very much."

And then, unexpectedly and rather frighteningly, Lithuania found that Russia was hugging him.

"Thank you, _Litva_," Russia whispered, "Thank you for trying hard. I am sorry that you were having to go through so much pain to make me finally see things rightly."

Lithuania smiled shakily.

"My sole purpose in life is to go through pain," he said, "So don't worry about it."

"_Nyet, Litva_," Russia said, "I will worry. But… You will be safe from me now."

To Lithuania's relief, Russia released him, stepping away slightly.

"Go now, little one," Russia said, "I am still not completely of the betterness, so… It is not safe for you here. Eventually, I will be regretting this decision… And then I will hurt whatever is close to me."

Lithuania nodded, and then turned away, only to be halted by the sound of Russia's voice.

"_Litva_…" Russia said, "One more thing. Thank you…for being my friend."

Lithuania turned back, one last time, to see that Russia was crying.

"It was the least I could do," he said quietly, "G-goodbye, Russia."

"Farewell, _Litva_," Russia said, "I wish you happiness."

Once, Lithuania would have said the same. But his heart was heavy, his mind broken, and he could barely even remember why it was that home sounded like such a wonderful place. He could only move forward.

And so, he left the room, Estonia at his side. And he did not look back, although he knew that Ukraine had not yet followed them. He did not look back, although the image of Russia being left behind, in tears, would be fixed in his mind forever.

* * *

Ukraine paused as Estonia and Lithuania left the room, turning instead to look back at Russia. Her younger brother stood at the window, staring out at the snow.

"Russia," Ukraine said, "Will you be all right?"

"I… I do not know," Russia said, "It may be that I will not be, but… I am… I am somewhat okay again, Ukraine. I am not only thinking of blood and punishment… Well, I am not planning punishment, that is, only knowing that I have done very bad things. I have not found healing, but maybe… Maybe at some time, I will be all better. Until then… You would be wanting to stay far from me, da? For your safety, it would be best if you were staying away."

Ukraine nodded sadly.

"At the time when you think we can visit each other in safety," she said, "Don't hesitate to call. We may all be leaving, little brother… But I still love you. I'm sure that in time the others will come around."

"Da," Russia said, "I hope so. Until that day… Farewell, big sister, Katya."

"Farewell, Ivan," Ukraine replied, "I hope you find happiness. I hope we all find happiness."

She turned away, leaving Russia to stare out at the harsh, white landscape which would soon be his only companion. It was not without misgivings and regrets that she left him, her brother. But she had to go, for there was no other way to guarantee the safety of the rest of their family.

"I will return one day," Ukraine whispered, so quietly that even she could barely hear herself, "When it is safe… I will come back to see you, Russia. After all… You are family, too."

* * *

When they finally made it downstairs, Lithuania immediately collapsed in the nearest chair. He had never felt so exhausted, and for some reason, he couldn't stop shaking.

Then, almost before he had sat down, there was an overjoyed squeal from somewhere close by, and Latvia ran over.

"Lithuania!" Latvia squealed, his violet eyes alight with happiness and relief, "You're okay!"

Lithuania nodded tiredly, not even wanting to try to explain to Latvia that he was broken beyond all repair, and simply wanted to cease existing.

"T-Toris?" Latvia stuttered, "Are you okay?"

"He's just tired, Lati," Estonia said, "Come on. Let him rest."

The Estonian boy guided his smaller friend away, glancing back at Lithuania with an almost pitying look in his eyes.

It was then that Lithuania remembered Belarus, remembered that he had something else worth escaping for.

He looked around, trying to find her, and finally located the girl. She was sitting on the sofa in the other corner of the room, not looking at him. When she finally did look up, their eyes met for a moment, and Lithuania smiled slightly.

Then, Belarus looked away, a cold, almost disdainful expression on her face. Somehow, inexplicably, it was the same expression that she had always worn before they had become more than acquaintances. Somehow, it seemed, she had retreated back into her hardened shell, almost as if she had decided that Lithuania was not worth her time after all.

"Belarus, w-what's wrong?" Lithuania asked, unable to keep desperation from seeping into his voice.

She looked over again, her gaze harsh and frightening.

"Be quiet," Belarus said harshly. Then, she resumed staring at the floor, almost as if Lithuania did not exist. As if he had never meant anything to her.

And, seeing that, all that was left of Lithuania's shattered hope melted away.

* * *

When Estonia turned back to check on Lithuania, he found the older boy in tears.

"Toris?" Estonia asked, "Toris, what's the matter?"

The brunet boy looked up at him, his eyes dull and full of tears.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked, "Why won't Belarus speak to me?"

Estonia glanced over at Belarus, who was glaring at Lithuania.

"I don't know," Estonia said, "She's been depressed and unpredictable lately. I'm sure she'll get over it."

"I must have made her mad," Lithuania sobbed, "It must be my fault! But she won't even explain… She won't even look at me!"

"Ssh," Estonia said, sitting down next to Lithuania, "It's all right."

Lithuania shook his head, crying harder, and Estonia realized that now, it was up to him to comfort his shattered, hurt friend.

"It'll be all right," Estonia said.

Wrapping his arms around Lithuania, Estonia rocked the older boy back and forth.

"You need to rest," he said, "Don't worry anymore, Lithuania. Just rest."

He paused, hearing footsteps in the hall, and knowing that Ukraine had come back to join them.

"Rest now," he told Lithuania, whose sobs were growing fainter, "We'll go home in the morning."

Estonia smiled, and it was not a smile of insanity, but of pure happiness.

"We'll go home in the morning," he repeated, "We finally get to go home."

_-"Soviet Insanity", End-_

* * *

**Agh, it's over?! *runs around my house screaming* Just like that?!**

**I admit, I'm probably more shocked than anyone else that I've actually finished writing this series. When I started "Interference" last October, I fully intended to write a simple, three chapter story. Then I decided to write a sequel. Then a sequel to that sequel...**

**And here we are today, at the end of the fourth story. This little idea of mine has grown to quite a magnitude, it would seem. According to Microsoft Word, there are would be over 230 pages in this story if all four installments were to become one! That's quite a lot of pages, and quite a lengthy project for me! **

**I think it's safe to say that the story isn't really over though. Feel free to imagine that they don't escape here, if you wish to be particularly morbid. But in my mind, the Baltics, Ukraine, and Belarus do leave Russia at this point, and do, in fact, get to go home. (All historical accuracy has likely left the building... My apologies.) **

**However, as the story has ended on a rather abrupt note, I am planning to write a series of oneshots that will take place sometime after this series' conclusion, but before "Written in Blood" begins. **

**And, of course, there's the aforementioned "Written in Blood", my other current project, which takes in this same universe, but in the distant future. **

**So, the main "Soviet Insanity" storyline has concluded, but at the same time, it continues on. **

**I have some ideas for other stories, but, for now, I plan to stick to simply updating "Written in Blood" fairly regularly. Perhaps this summer, when things are less busy, I'll consider taking on a new project centering around these six characters whom I've come to love writing about. **

**Now, all my news aside, I'd like to extend a huge thank you to all of you readers and reviewers and generally awesome people! I most certainly would not have continued this story after "Latvia's Absence" had everyone not shown such interest in a continuation. Thank you all for your amazing feedback, and for the ton of encouragement you've extended to me throughout the writing of these stories! I feel like I've really improved in my writing while in the process of writing this series, and you guys got me through it more than anyone else, so thank you! This project was just what I needed to distract myself during the winter months, when life is at its most depressing, so... OK, I can't really thank you all enough, so... AN INFINITE NUMBER OF THANK YOUS HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO YOU ALL! **

**Seriously, though, you guys have been amazing readers! This, I think, has been both my overall best and my most successful fanfiction yet, and as I've said, I think I've improved a lot while writing it! So thank you again. It's been a lot of fun (and it's probably never going to be fully over...) **

**And... So ends "Soviet Insanity", and yet, it continues on, but under a different name this time. Thank you all. :) **

**-Shadows in the Light of Day**


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